Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up
Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life
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Archive of "work life" Category
How to leave a message
One of the most important job skills to have is the ability to leave a good voicemail. I know you’re laughing right now that you have known how to use a phone since you were four years old. When you were four years old, you left messages on answering machines like my niece Julie does: “Hi Aunt Dorie. Peter kitty peed on the floor again. My sister broke the doll you gave me. I’m your niece and I love you. This is Julie. Bye.” As adorable as it may be, it doesn’t get you very far in the work place. Or you could be laughing right now because you leave messages for your friends every night but drunk dialing your friends at two in the morning is no where near as cute as the four year old but may be more useful in acquiring what you want (a ride home).
I’m still surprised at the number of useless voicemails that happen in the work place. Sometimes they are useless due to content (after 90 seconds your ramblings, I still have no idea what you want and how I fit into that picture). Sometimes they are useless because you left no contact information (how can I call you back if I don’t know who you are?). Still other voicemails are useless because I cannot understand a word you are saying.
Like any other tool, a voicemail is great but only if you know how to use it properly.
- State your name and your organization: First words out of your mouth every single time should be your name and your organization. “Hello, this is Dorie Morgan from ABC Corporation”. If this is your first time attempting to contact the other person, you should also spell your name and company name. Your name and company name maybe common to you but they are not to the person who will be listening to your message.
- Who are you calling: Not all companies have individual voicemail boxes. My current organization is small and has one answering machine for the company. Or you may be reaching a general mailbox for the company or department. If you don’t know which person you are looking for, state that as “I am looking for someone in the sales department”. Make it easy for the person who will listen to the message.
- What is your purpose: You don’t need to give your life story here. Just a brief statement will do. “I am looking for a company that can complete X, Y and Z for my organization” or “I was referred to you by John Doe of the DEF Company” would be appropriate statements here. This helps the person listening to your message understand what you want and how they can help you. If they don’t understand how to help you, they will not be calling you back as quickly.
- Your contact information: This is the part where they learn how to reach you. “I can be reached at (555) 555-5555”. If you have an extension, make sure you mention it. If the number is a direct line to your desk, mention that as well. If you opt to give your email address as a means of contact, spell it out (and be clear about underscores, hyphens, etc.) but also realize that it is easy to make a mistake writing down and email address.
- Repeat. State your name, organization and contact information once more, followed by a thank you. The reason is that if the listener missed a bit of your information at the beginning, they have another opportunity to hear it again without going back to the beginning of the message. Don’t forget the thank you. I am more interested in helping a person with good phone etiquette than a rude individual.
Putting it together, a good example would be:
“Good morning, this is Dorie (D-o-r-i-e) Morgan (M-o-r-g-a-n) from the ABC Corporation. I am trying to reach someone from your sales department. My organization is looking for a contractor who is registered to work in the county. You can reach me at (555) 555-5555. Once again, this is Dorie Morgan from the ABC Corporation and I can be reached at (555) 555-5555. Thank you.”
Other important tips to remember:
- Speak clearly and speak slowly. If you are uncomfortable on the phone, make sure you take the time to listen to yourself. It can be tempting to rush through a message but then no one will understand what you are saying.
- It’s okay to have a phone voice. Over the years, I’ve developed what I jokingly refer to as my flight attendant voice. It is made up of one part flight attendant and one part actor. It isn’t my every day speaking voice but it is easy to understand on a machine. I wouldn’t want to have a long conversation or a face to face conversation using this tone but it is professional for phone contact, regardless of whether I am calling or called. You may be teased slightly by your coworkers but that’s because they are jealous that you get calls back.
Your voicemail is your first impression. Whether you are calling a potential client, vendor or employee candidate, you are giving that person the first taste of who you are and who your company is.
Would you knock 15 years off your age?
One of my favorite things about my mom is her career path: for the past ten years, she has worked in social work. It wasn’t until she was in her forties that she was able to follow her calling (prior to that, she had been a special education teacher, a flight attendant and an insurance claims adjuster) but when the timing was right, she made the cross over into what she loved.
My mother loves to nurture people. And she is very good at it. My mom is the type of person who can work with a first time mom who is also a heroin addict and help that person get the resources they need to keep their baby. And she’s the type of person who can see that woman as a mother and not an addict.
I’m the other way around: I see the addict before I see the person. I am more likely to see the harsh realities of a situation whereas my mom sees the good and the potential.
Sometimes, I really have to wonder where I came from. I’m sure my parents do too.
My mom left her most recent agency in June, after having worked with the agency for four or five years. Her program was heading in a new direction and she realized it was time for her to move elsewhere. I’m very proud of her for that – sometimes it can be hard to admit that something you loved isn’t something you love anymore.
The other thing I’m proud of her for was realizing that she needed a break before she took a new position. Instead of job hunting right away, she waited until she took a month or two off. She did some reading (she’s still not done my list of recommendations though), worked in her garden and spent some much needed time with my dad.
But now she’s job hunting again. And now, the whole family is giving her career advice. Surprise! All of the advice we are sharing with her is conflicting.The biggest source of conflict involves my father, me and my mother’s age. And my mother’s ability to over share in an interview. My mom is very likely to mention her married daughter in an interview. I know this because she’s told me about doing this before. She has no sense of HR no man’s land.
So when my mom announced that she had an upcoming job interview, I tried to delicately (okay, I failed at delicate) say that perhaps she should not mention her family. Or at least not mention her twenty-something daughter and son-in-law. I told her that this was because it would make it easier for the interviewer to realize how old she was (mid to late 50’s) and since she looks 15 years younger, she should leave it all up to their imagination.
My dad strongly disagrees. He thinks she should be proud of her family accomplishments and since she’s in social work, her age is a benefit. Because my mom usually works with families in crisis, having a daughter in her twenties shows that my mom has hands on experience. He also says that since its illegal to discriminate against age, that shouldn’t factor into how she answers questions. In fact, her age is an asset because it means she’s more stable.
What makes this difficult is that neither of us work in Human Resources. My dad may be a hiring manager in for his department but there is still someone else to handle the HR side of things. And neither of us are social workers (that career path is definitely not a possibility for me). We just want to see good things happen for her.
Just call me Crackles
When Brian and I first decided to get married, we had this dream of owning a business someday. Or rather, we dreamed about building our own real estate empire. We wanted to buy old houses, renovate and remodel and then either rent or sell the properties. Brian would be in charge of the actual construction and I would be in charge of everything else. It seemed like a brilliant idea.
In fact, it still does.
We finally bought our first property three weeks ago and we get the pleasure of really learning about what having an entrepreneurial marriage would look like. And by pleasure, what I really mean is something more along the lines of having our eyes opened by surprise and shock.
We really weren’t expecting this.
But we’ve also learned a lot of good things too. About ourselves, about our marriage and about how we want to build a business.
Your Network
Your business is only as good as the people who support it. And the character of the people who support your business are a reflection of the character of the business. If your network is filled with people who suggest actions that are illegal or slightly unethical, take a step back and ask why those people are in your network. We learned this lesson but interacting with the seller’s representatives. We will not work with people who exist in that network again because we know there are problems within that network, we just don’t quite know where.
Your Work
I’m a self starter when it comes to projects. I want to show up, get the job done and move onto the next thing. I’ll take a break when the task is completed or if the task is too big, I’ll break it up into smaller chunks. Brian, on the other hand, is not a self starter. He’s much better at making the day fun. And that’s okay. Between the two of us, stuff gets done and everyone has a good time.
Our Marriage
Sometimes, you just need to be reminded how well you work together. I won’t lie; it’s been a rough few months for my husband and me. With family drama, house drama and work drama, it isn’t always easy to connect. But working together on the house gives both of us a chance to look at each other at our best. And I shouldn’t forget to mention how great it feels when we can share the sense of accomplishment (instead of telling the other about a sense of accomplishment during dinner). Team Morgan becomes stronger because of it.
Our Knowledge
My husband has totally different set of skills than I do. He creates beautiful things in homes and I know he makes other people’s lives better because of it. Working together gives me a great opportunity to learn new things from Brian. Learning new skills changes my perspective and helps with problem solving elsewhere. I might not use carpentry skills everyday in the office but who can’t use a new way to look at the world? Once you have an understanding of a skill set, you can look to apply that set in new directions.
Our SillinessOn our first day of work, my dear sweet husband started giving out construction names. My mother was named “Butchie”. Because of my dad’s resemblance to the guy on the Mr. Clean bottle, he was named “Sparkles”. But what did Brian name his wife? “Crackles.” Why? Because “Cracker” was already taken by someone else he knows.
So I did what any good “Crackles” would do: I told them all to shut up and get back to work
Brazen NYC: That was easy
One of the things I love about the Brazen Careerist network is how easy it is to connect with other people. And I’ll be honest - I have a hard time connecting with other people because I am perfectly content to be by myself and quiet and occupied. So when Brazen makes it so easy, it’s great because then I don’t have an excuse to not connect.
Two weeks ago was the Brazen Meet Up in NYC and I made the trip up from Philly (which was not a bad trip until I got to the Lincoln Tunnel and wanted to turn around and go home when I realized it was an 8 dollar toll just to drive through a stinking tunnel). The meet up was great – I met some fabulous people, discovered some great blogs and managed to get drinks with a friend afterward. I also discovered that Ryan Paugh moves about a room like he’s still the fraternity’s social chair (which then begs the question do I still move around the room like a sorority president?). It was worth that 8 dollar toll through a stinking tunnel.
I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I arrived at the meet up and I was mildly terrified walking in the door. And I had a few moments where I thought I could turn around without anyone noticing I had come into the room. It was the same sort of feeling as when I told my stylist that I wanted to dye my hair red.
Much like the red hair, that scary feeling was worth it. Once I got over myself, I had the opportunity to make real changes in my life while I sipped on a $7 (gasp) glass of chardonnay.
- The fun stuff: I was interviewed by Life Before Noon’s Carla Blumenthal for the Brazen video. Once again, slightly scary but watching the video a week later, I feel really good about how I answered questions and the way I put myself out there.
- The work stuff: I started chatting with Caroline and Connie of SixFigureStart and I really connected with Connie and loved talking with her. Then it turns out that Brazen has been connecting career coaches with bloggers. Then Ryan made the connection between Connie and me and now, Connie is giving me some much needed career coaching. Had I not gotten over myself and gone through the door, I never would have met Connie and had this opportunity. And I get guidance in taking charge of my career. And I get more things to blog about which is always a plus. Keep your eyes open as I’ll be sharing what happens here.
- The personal stuff: I stuck around the event for a lot longer than I had planned. I normally don’t like to be among the last to leave but I was leaving the city that night with a friend who had to work late and I promised my husband I wouldn’t wander NYC by myself. I started chatting with Derek Halpern who made a comment about Adam Gilbert’s blog and company. After I got back to Philly, I made a point to check out Adam’s blog and his company mybodytutor.com. It turns out that Adam is someone who can really help me (I’ve been struggling with my health and fitness goals). That fleeting comment made by Derek sent me in a direction I never anticipated. I’m starting Adam’s program today and once again, I’m a little nervous but I’m also excited because I know I’m about to feel better than I have in a long time. I’ll also sharing updates on my struggles and successes over the coming weeks.
I didn’t have to talk to every single person in the room in order for the event to be successful for me. I just had to talk to a few people and be myself. Maybe networking isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
College stole my interns - I want them back
I hate to say it, but summer is over. Retail stores have Back-to-School displays that are thoroughly picked over. Even the school buses in my township have been doing dry runs before classes start on Tuesday. Even the trees look tired from being leafy and green for so long.
And as my friend Carmella pointed out, Starbucks will be selling Pumpkin Spice Lattes on next Tuesday. Nothing says “fall” quite like pumpkins.
Summer is gone and autumn is here. And the call of autumn took the interns away and back to college.
I miss the interns already. We had really great interns this summer.
And it is a little tempting to say “have a great semester, give us a call sometime” and then never talk to those interns again. Why? Because we’re busy. But we are all so busy so really, that’s not an excuse anymore. The people who are really busy and successful still make time to connect with other people.
But those interns are more than just transient people who come for a summer to work. Those interns are the people who will someday shape the industry you work in and the world you live in.
Think about it this way: Your interns just went back to college. Chances are those interns are talking about their internship experiences with professors and advisors. Maybe they are even talking to their friends who would be looking internships next summer. If this summer’s intern was great, wouldn’t you want them to pass along the names of other people who might be great as well?
But think further down the line too. Someday that intern is going to graduate and with graduation comes the need for a job. Do you want that recent grad (who was a great intern) going to your biggest competitor and working for them? Probably not. If you think like I do, I’d rather they come back and work for me.
Just because the internship is formally over does not mean that you end the conversations. This is the time where you step up the effort to develop a mentoring relationship even more.
So how do you accomplish this?
- Let your intern know that you would like to mentor them. Not everyone knows how to ask for a mentor. By letting them know that you are interested in building that relationship, you let them know that you value their contributions and think they have potential. It is also incredibly exciting when someone you respect approaches you about building that relationship.
- Talk to your intern about the classes they are taking and organizations they are joining. It doesn’t always have to be over the phone – email works great too. But don’t forget to take the conversation off the internet and into real life at least once a month.
- Encourage your intern to start blogging. And stay in the blogging conversation with them. Leave comments on their page or have them guest post on your blog. Or better yet, do both!
There’s no reason to forget about interns just because they are gone. This is part of networking, part of building your business and part of building your brand.
How to look normal at work
If you have been following along for the last few weeks, you may have noticed that life is very up and very down right now. On side of things, I bought my dream home and I’m thrilled (even though there may be issues with keys, U&O and dead bodies). But on the other side of my life, there is family stress (with the worst of it being that my 87 year old grandfather breaking his hip). And then there’s this thing called blogging that I love to do and that other thing. I think it’s called my job (you know, that place you go to for at least eight hours a day and they give you money).
To be quite honest, I’m struggling not to be a complete train wreck. I think I’m keeping it somewhat together but every now and then, the desperation seeps into my tweets. And sometimes it seeps into my blog posts but I keep hoping that it reads as insightful.
I’m really struggling with the work thing though. Part of me wants to hide under my desk and cry all day or take Costanza naps because I’m not really sleeping at night. But more of me wants to kick ass and not let my personal life impact my work life.
But here’s the thing: What I really want is a blended life. I really want a life that isn’t deeply compartmentalized. And my personal life is going to impact my work life. I know I haven’t really been my best lately.
The question then becomes how can I step back slightly at work without letting my team down?
Talking: As per usual, my direct supervisor and HR know what is going on. Part of me was hesitant to tell them but here’s the deal: If I don’t tell them what’s going on, I only shoot myself in the foot. I’ve also told the administrative staff (because if the phone call comes in that I have to take off for the hospital, I would hope the admins would hunt me down right away).
But what about the rest of my coworkers? Should they know? The people on my team know that I have some personal events going on and I may need a little more flexibility right now. I’m not asking them to bend over backwards for me but I am letting them know that I may need a slightly longer lead time on some projects.
As for the other people I work with, if they ask, I’ll tell them what’s going on but I’m leaving the details out of it. “My grandfather fell and broke his hip so I’m spending a lot of time at the nursing home with him” is a perfectly acceptable response to give. “Well, my grandfather fell and he broke his hip so there was surgery to replace the hip but now my mom and I are concerned that’s he’s being….” is not an acceptable response. No one wants to hear that much. Oh and if they don’t ask, I’m not telling.
Projects: This is not the time to be superwoman in the office. While I always love to bite off more than I can chew, now I’m focusing on the tedious tasks that my department had been putting off. There are several benefits to this approach.
- These tasks are very repetitive. I can put on some music and zone out to the task at hand.
- I can have a little less interaction with people at time when interaction overwhelms me. I have this habit of crying at the drop of a hat and it is more than slightly embarrassing at times like this. By keeping a low profile, I can get things done without having to hide in the bathroom to cry.
- No one else wants to do these jobs but they have to get done. I’m taking some of the nagging pressure off of my team.
To Do Lists: I’ve always been a compulsive list maker but when times get rough, a good list can be a saving grace. When I get to the office every morning, I make a list of the top ten things that I need to do that day to keep things running smoothly. And I stick to ten things so I don’t overwhelm myself at 7 in the morning. Then I rank those items but how important they are and I start with the most important item. It’s a simple approach but it helps me keep my priorities in order. When I can’t trust myself to make consistent decisions about priorities, my list allows me to make most of my decisions for the day at a time when my mind is the clearest.
We all have times in our lives where life overwhelms us and it’s tough to keep it together. But we have to keep it together because life won’t stop moving forward because we aren’t sure what to do next. As adults, it is our job to tell the people around when we need help or when we think we are dropping the ball.
Caution Ahead: Industry Training
At the majority of industry events I attend, I find that I am the youngest person in the room by at least ten years. Most of the people I will chat with will be old enough to be my parent. That’s okay but being baby in the room can be a double edged sword. I get to have some very interesting conversations with people I would normally not interact with but I also know that I will need to hold myself to a higher standard in order to be taken seriously. I set the bar for myself of needing to be the most professional person in the room.
It sort of feels like the first time you stayed over night at a college and you didn’t want anyone to know you were still in high school.
Recently, my company sent me to a two day course on Document Management, a favorite topic for everyone in the Pharmaceutical Industry. As per usual, I was the youngest in the room. I am really just starting my career while the people learning with me had been in the industry for quite some time. Honestly, I was kind of excited to hear about how they dealt with document management problems. I am not interested in re-inventing the wheel. And since I work in a small company with limited resources, re-inventing the wheel is a costly mistake that I cannot afford to make.
I was a bit startled to discover how open the other class participants were with information about their companies. And alarmed. After all, we all had name tags on that also listed our company names. Here was a group of professionals sharing information that I would hope would have been protected by a Confidential Non-Disclosure Agreement signed on the first day of employment.
When you attend an industry event or training, you are not just “You, The Person” but become “You, The Representative of Your Organization”. The information you share in such a setting is information that will be used to judge and assess your organization. It might be easy to forget this when you work for a larger organization but for the duration of training, you become the face of your organization.
I think part of it comes from the desire to share in a classroom setting. We want to talk about ourselves, where we have been and maybe even show our own personal value to the people who surround us. But as adults, this is dangerous. The knowledge we possess can have a dollar amount attached to it and the information we may inadvertently share could have a devastating impact to our business.
We all need to ask ourselves questions when we attend these events. And those questions need to go beyond the “what are my take-aways” or “how will this benefit me”. The question we need to start asking is “If my biggest competitor was taking this course with me, would I still want to share this information?”
Whether you work in the Quality Group or out on the shop floor, we are all in the business of knowledge. Successfully managing and controlling the knowledge you possess is a key skill for a vibrant career.
You were a jerk. Let’s fix it.
So maybe after reading last week’s post, you have realized that you are, in fact, the office asshole. Maybe you had no clue before. Maybe you didn’t care before. But now you know and now, you want to do something to fix it.
As I said last time, I’m not sure you can fix it. I wish it was that simple. But every office has at least one person (or more) with the memory of an elephant. Some people will want to forgive and forget and move on with their workday. Other people will remember and be wary. And either way is okay. Much like they could not change the fact that you are/were the office jerk, you can not change how they chose to deal with it.
Step 1: Stop talking about yourself. Adopt a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with your personal life. If they don’t ask, you don’t tell. It really is that simple. You are not as interesting to your cube mate as you are to yourself.
Step 2: Start talking (or at least asking) about other people. Please don’t interpret that as start gossiping though. You’ve spent enough time talking about yourself, now its time to hear about someone else. Ask about what someone’s plans are for the weekend. And then, here’s the hard part, wait until they ask about your plans. If they don’t ask, then refer to Step 1. Mostly likely, the person who is most interesting to the person you are talking to is them self.
Step 3: Take an interest. Sometimes, you have to look out for yourself first. For some of us, that’s next to impossible to learn. But other times, you have to look out for your time first. And for the rest of us, that’s next to impossible to learn. If you have been the office jerk, chances are, you were only looking out for Number 1. So now, you learn how to listen to what projects are on the horizon for your team. And if your team is stuck or struggling, take an interest and offer to help. Don’t offer to help to be the hero and save the day. You are offering to help by saving your team from the tedious. You are showing your team/department/office that you realize you need them.
Step 4: Remember those interns. Maybe you weren’t so nice to those interns before. Now, you have to be. I’ll be honest, I secretly judge most of my coworkers based on how they treat the interns. So take an intern under your wing. Teach that intern something they may not have learned elsewhere. Maybe even pull an intern onto a choice assignment. It will never hurt you to help the low man on the totem pole.
Step 5: Do something nice. Maybe that looks like bringing cupcakes to the office or picking up breakfast for the team. Maybe being nice looks like remembering that someone loves jazz and then letting them know about a music festival they might enjoy. Maybe it is treating someone to lunch. I’m not suggesting you try to buy love (and if you are a jerk, this will only make things worse) but people love to feel like they have been remembered.
Step 6: Apologize. Maybe this is a step reserved for the truly heinous of office assholes but if you are making no progress in improving your office relationships, you may need to acknowledge your previous behavior. It doesn’t need to be anything over the top but it does need to be sincere and to the point. An example: “I realize that for a long time I did not treat the team properly and I need to correct that. What do you think I can do to make the situation better?”
Step 7: Dust off your resume. You may have done too much damage at your place of current employment to correct it. But don’t just hop to a new job and hope everything will be better. You will need to be making an active effort not to repeat the mistakes you made previously. Figure out why you were such a jerk before and then avoid those situations/triggers/whatever that set you off.
What do your coworkers really think of you?
One of the men in my office is a real asshole. He seems to think he’s an authority on everything, even though he complains constantly that he doesn’t know how things work. I’m fairly certain he’s not doing any of the work he’s being paid to complete himself (I keep catching other people’s interns completing his work), but he will always tell you why you are doing your job incorrectly. He’s demeaning to women and treads very closely to the sexual harassment line. Wait a minute, he’s demeaning to everyone. I just have no respect for him.
At first, I tried to chalk it up to the fact that he’s a baby boomer and I’m a millennial and we just don’t see eye to eye and it must be a communication problem and so on. But then I hit me: He really is just an asshole.
And the rest of the Boomers in the office think he’s an asshole too. And since I really respect and trust those coworkers, I’m okay with writing the guy off all together.
The worst part of it: he doesn’t seem to know that he’s an asshole. Like many other aspects of his work life, he just has no clue. But he can’t be the only one in that boat.
In case you were curious if your co-workers think you’re an asshole, here are a few clues.
You enter conversations that don’t pertain to you. If I’m discussing a situation in a department meeting, and you walk by the room and enter uninvited to tell me your opinion, there’s something wrong. People will ask for your opinion if they think you have some insights or ideas that could help the situation. And if no one asks, you can find a better venue to share your ideas than bursting into a meeting.
You frequently find yourself eating alone. If you are taking lunch at noon and no one else is in the break room with you, there is a problem. Especially if noon used to be the peak lunch hour. Let’s face it: your lunch break is valuable time because it is your time. And when your coworkers start showing that you aren’t wanted during their time, its time to make a change in your behavior.
You tell your coworkers all about you – but you rarely ask your coworkers about them. I work at a small company with a family atmosphere. As a result, I hear a lot about my coworkers personal lives, which is great. It helps me to work more efficiently with my coworkers because I have a greater understanding of where people are coming from. For example, the girl next to me ran a 5k last night and she didn’t do as well as she would have liked. But after telling me about the 5k experience, she asked me about how my night class went last night. Relationships are give and take – no one wants to just hear about how great you are, they want you to ask as well. People will start to avoid you if they think you are only interested in yourself.
You bully the interns. Interns are here to be treated like a second class citizen. Interns are here to learn, to gain work experience and hopefully, make some money. And really, when you treat my intern with a lack of respect, I lose even more respect for you. Why? I don’t want to be around you if you make yourself feel good by treating others poorly and certainly do not want my team to be around you either. And let’s not even get into the fact that I would not want you anywhere near my clients.
Is there anyway to bounce back from this behavior? I’m still not sure. Part of me thinks it just isn’t possible.
At this point, is it worth it?
My friend Erica is a lawyer. More specifically, she works in patent law for a firm in NYC. She has two secretaries, she’ll make partner in eight years and she makes at least three times as much money as I do. She has a fabulous boyfriend and she’s thinking about buying a condo in the city.
She also works at least 65 hours a week. And that’s a conservative estimate on my part. She tells me its only sixty hours a week but I lived with this girl in college and I know Erica has no sense of time when she’s working. I also know that her secretaries think she is working too much as well.
When you think about all of the things you need to do during the week, just as basic aspects of life, how is it possible to consistently work 65 hours a week? And when a case gets hectic, is it possible to have any hope of a home life available to you?
At what point is the money just not enough?
I’ve read that statistic about 40k being the magic number, but Erica brought up a really good point that I tend to forget about: the difference between making forty thousand dollars annually in, let’s say, Fairport Harbor, Ohio and New York City is monumental. Even the difference between Levittown, PA (where I live) and NYC is monumental. But so what?
What makes the money worth it?
I have mixed feelings about all of this.
On one hand, I kind of like the idea of working as hard as you can until you are ready/want to reproduce and then cut back. But realistically, that’s not going to happen. You’ll either put off kids because the time is just “not right” or you’ll pay a fortune for childcare because you won’t want to give up your career and you can’t get more than six weeks maternity leave without losing your job.
On the other hand, I know myself. If I don’t work hard at finding balance, I never will. If I don’t set clear boundaries for myself, I’ll neglect my own basic needs. And while that could benefit me in my career (depending on where I was working), it would not benefit me in ensuring my husband would be in my bed when I came home at night.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the money she makes doesn’t tempt me. And when I hear her tell me that I could easily do the work she does, it makes it even more tempting. But since I know I can’t really have it all and still have my sanity, what are the pieces that I really care about?
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