Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up
Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life
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Archive of "The Well" Category
Guest Post: Support your local everything
Last Tuesday, I published a guest post by Gary Alloway, where he wrote about disconnection and suburban poverty. This week, Gary is writing about the changes we all need to make in our communities. Check out last week’s post and I hope you take part in the conversation.
“Support Your Local Everything!” I saw this bumper sticker in a local coffee shop recently. The coffee shop was supplying coffee for over 20 businesses in the area. They provided quick, personal service when their equipment broke down. They bought many of their ingredients from local vendors. And they paid their employees a livable wage along with benefits. I wrote previously that what makes suburban poverty unique is the experience of disconnection. Therefore, the solution to suburban poverty is building healthy communities. This begins with a sense of locality.
Do you live in suburbia? Who lives in your community? What are their values? What makes your community unique? What does your town smell like? Most people in suburbia cannot answer these questions because our geographical identity and culture is not determined by where we are, but by an urban center that is 20 miles away. In college, a friend of mine took a course on city planning where every student was asked to write about a place of interest. Every urbanite and small towner wrote about his or her community. Not a single suburbanite did. Suburbanites are not taught to be aware of where they live (an ignorance facilitated by large tracts of unincorporated sprawl with no centralization). Tackling suburban poverty begins with opening our eyes to our communities. We will not take ownership of our community until we actually know where we are and are proud of it.
If you need help with this, I suggest walking or biking in your community. (This will be awkward in most suburbs, but do it anyway). At a slower speed, we see the ways our communities are put together. We will find historic houses, small creeks, and interesting people. But we will also see the low-income workers waiting for the bus. We see the prostitute who always hangs out at the budget motel. We notice the apartment complex where the paint is peeling off. At 75 mph, these are blurs. At walking speed, we actually see the suburban poor.
Proximity allows us to help the poor in more meaningful ways. It is very difficult to integrate someone into your life when they live 30 miles away. When they are your neighbors, you can invite them to church, have them over for dinner, help them find a job, or give them a ride to a doctor’s appointment. In relationship, the poor stop being a project and start being people. Poverty is a dehumanizing experience. Relationship is just as necessary for healing as any sort of financial assistance. Locality allows us to have real relationships with the poor rather than just writing a check and crossing charity off our to do list. Relationships contribute to healthy communities, rather than quick fixes.
And any healthy community must have strong local business. Local businesses provide jobs and will not move these jobs the second cheaper workers become available somewhere else. They are more likely to support local charities and advocate on local issues, rather than doing their corporate responsibility by sending a large check to a large, disconnected charity. Local businesses also have accountability. When an owner is a neighbor to their employee, he is far less likely to pay exploitative wages. When an owner is a neighbor, she is far less likely to do ecological or economic damage to the larger community. And money put into local business is far more likely to stay within your community and actually trickle down, rather than build up corporate headquarters a thousand miles away. Many local businesses cannot compete with the flashiness or locations of the chains, so you may not even know they are there. Take your time. Open your eyes to your community.
Also hidden in our suburban communities are the saints who have been working with the poor for decades. Poverty is a huge issue and frankly, we lack the funds and the expertise to make a dent in the larger issues. But in partnership, we are able to bring together resources, ideas, and leadership in ways that can change a community. So we need to know who is at work in our community. Our church talked for years of starting a community center in our warehouse space. The only problem was that such a project would probably cost $100,000 to start, meaning it would never actually happen. As we went into our community, we discovered that our township had been planning community events, but lacked a meeting space. We are currently in discussion about hosting community events that they would fund and staff. A local mindset breeds connections and partnerships that are necessary for healthy community.
In a culture obsessed with the bottom line, we often lose sight of beauty. Most suburban communities are not built to be beautiful. There is little value placed upon green space. Architecture is based upon convenience rather than style. Things like murals and landscaping are neglected because nobody is on foot. The arts are left to the city. The poor need good jobs. The poor need real relationships. But the poor also need beauty. And the lack of beauty in our communities makes us all poor. Beauty is a tough sell in communities obsessed with upping the tax base. But if we have pride in our communities then we will desire them to be attractive and unique. And hopefully we will make them beautiful.
Overcoming suburban poverty is not about diverting that donation from Africa to Levittown. It is about building healthy communities – communities where the poor can find decent housing and good jobs, communities that have relational networks of support, and communities where people care for their neighbors. This is a multifaceted and deeply complex. But it begins with a local awareness that is so often lacking in suburbia. Want to help the suburban poor? Support your local everything.
Guest Post: Disconnection and Suburban Poverty
Today’s guest post was written by Gary Alloway. Gary is a graduate of Penn State and Princeton Theological Seminary. He is also a part time pastor at The Well. Hassling Gary is a hobby for Brian and I (more so for me, Brian might just be along for the ride) - at the moment, my favorite thing to hassle him is whether he is Gen X or Gen Y and his preference for Bright Eyes.
This is the first of two posts by Gary about suburban poverty. I hope it makes you a little uncomfortable and I hope it makes you want to change something.
When most people think of poverty in America, they think urban or rural. Yet more than half of those in poverty in America live in suburbia. Bucks County (where I live) is one of the wealthiest counties in Pennsylvania, yet 5% of the county lives below the poverty line. While the problems of suburban poverty often mirror those of the city, the defining characteristic of suburban poverty is disconnection.
In suburbia, communities do not function as integrated units. We do not know the neighbors. We rarely walk anywhere in the community. We do not know who owns the stores in which we shop. Public places, such as parks, community centers, or local cafes, almost never serve as meeting points. As a result, all of our relational encounters are voluntary. And birds of a feather flock together. To the middle class, the poor become invisible. We do not see them, hear them, or know them. Most people in suburbia are ignorant of the poverty in their own backyard. It is common for churches and other community organizations to seek to help the poor, driving past the budget motel and the low-end apartment complex on their way to the inner-city.
Because we are disconnected from those in poverty, we do not build communities that accommodate the poor. Low-income housing is neglected in favor of faceless high-end housing that will increase the tax base (as though someone who buys a characterless house on a characterless street in a characterless town will have a great investment in the community). The poor are forced to scrape for housing they cannot afford. Budgets become fragile, making homelessness a real threat. Those who can afford housing often do so by working hours that disconnect them from their families.
When low-income housing is built, it is usually tucked away behind the strip mall or next to the railroad tracks or off the highway; places we drive by at 75 mph and hence, never see. The end result is very small ghettos – pockets of poverty that mirror the worst inner-city neighborhoods, but due to their size and location, are invisible. It is hard to overlook the 25 square miles of poverty in North Philadelphia (though we do our best). It is very easy to overlook the apartment complex. We do not know the poor, so we do build communities that accommodate the poor and their isolation is furthered. Disconnection breeds disconnection.
This disconnection is difficult to overcome because suburbia presumes the automobile. Without a car in suburbia, you are screwed. I work with single parents trying to overcome poverty in Bucks County. Imagine trying to coordinate day care, a job, school, and visits to your case manager when you live in a town where the bus comes once an hour to a stop that is half a mile away. Imagine getting to the grocery store and back. The middle class do not ride public transportation so they do not invest in it. And the bus becomes the ghetto, a small convoy of the poor, disconnected from their community.
Even the most motivated person has trouble overcoming suburban poverty. I used to work at a homeless shelter in downtown Denver and within a ten-minute walk, one could reach the free clinic, the day shelter, the food bank, the social security office, and hundreds of jobs. But while I was there, gentrification was dispersing poverty, pushing the poor into the outer rings of the city and into suburbia. Bucks County has many social programs to help the poor, from welfare to job training programs. But they are disconnected. The locations are disconnected. The organizations are disconnected. Those who take advantage of them will find themselves trying to put together a puzzle of pieces that don’t create a clear picture.
Urban ghettos can be places of immense oppression, where the depth of suffering is palpable. But urban ghettos can also be places where tragedy binds residents together in vibrant community. The suburban poor are more likely to find themselves alone - isolated from communities where prosperity is the norm – a silent anhedonic suffering. Physically, socially, and spiritually, suburban poverty is an experience of disconnection.
Do something that scares you: I’m a model
I’ve dabbled in and out of modeling for a few years now. It has never been something that I have seriously pursued. Most of my jobs are usually booked because I have a friend who is an artist and they need someone for figure studies or a particular project. The rest of my jobs are booked because an artist knows some of my artist friends and then it just becomes an exercise in networking. I don’t model very much anymore because I would rather spend time with Brian (I already spend enough time at the office).
It rarely is particularly challenging for me although sitting for a painting was brutal. Usually, I just show up, do my thing and go home. I earn some extra money or I help out a friend and I go home happy.
The Well is hosting its third annual Art Show and Fashion Show next weekend. One of the things that draws me to this show is that it is all about social justice and helping local artists have a forum to show their work. It is the community aspect of it that I really love more than anything.
Part of the fashion aspect is a runway show. I’ve never been a runway model. But I also know that the time in my life where I could be a runway model is quickly coming to an end.
I signed up to model. And quite frankly, I am scared out of my mind.
The dress rehearsal was on Saturday night and I think I was the largest model there. I’m by no means a big girl but when the designer asks you what size you are and he responds with a weird face and a “ooh” and then more of a weird face… well, it can be a bit brutal on one’s self esteem.
I’m putting myself out there, good or bad. I’d like to think I’m putting on a brave face but as I worked my way down the walk, one of the coordinators screamed out “STOP THINKING SO MUCH”.
There may be a distinct possibility that I will make a complete ass out of myself.
But I’m also okay with that. Life is too short to not take risks.
And usually what we fear turns into something we enjoy. Fear is a lot like change - it really isn’t all that permanent. Yes, I could fall flat on my face as I walk (while wearing a miniskirt that barely covers my butt). But I could also look fabulous. And most likely, I will look back as an old woman and tell annoying stories to my grandkids about how I was a model. And hopefully, I’ll jump start some desire in them to be scared.
At least this week, I have extra motivation to stay out of the company candy dish.
Pope: Other Christians not true churches
Silly Pope! What were you thinking?
Let’s start off by saying I am not Catholic. I am no where remote to Catholic. At this point, I don’t even quite know how to describe myself in terms of Christianity. I would describe myself as a follower of Christ but I would not identify myself as a Christian. As a Presbyterian, I believe in predestination (in the comforting thought context) but I no longer worship in a Presbyterian Church. I attend a nondenominational church but I do not describe myself as a “born again”. I am not a Jew but I try to incorporate Jewish values and traditions into my beliefs as I believe Christianity has lost the value of these traditions. The closest description of myself would be a “non-Jewish Calvinist follower of Christ” but that title is still lacking. And really not all that accurate, but hey, I’m trying.
I am not a Catholic.
I usually laugh at a lot of things that escape the Catholicism Wow Camp. For instance, birth control. While I respect the ideal that couples only have sex to procreate, I believe the Catholic Church is missing a huge learning opportunity for its members. Teach them about safe sex, teach them chastity as a spiritual discipline to build a stronger relationship with Christ. Teenage boys and girls are not going to keep it in their pants. They don’t understand why they need to keep it in their pants. Give them the tools so that they can learn.
I’m also confused on the whole only baptised babies get to go to Heaven concept. I can commit a mass genocide but as long as I repent and confess to a priest, I can still go to heaven. That little baby that didn’t have holy water sprinkled on its forehead though is shit out of luck.
But I try to ignore that. We are all fallen and broken and therefore the institutions we establish on this Earth are also fallen and broken. We are not perfect, that is why we go to church. Periodically though, the Pope issues something that really makes my blood boil.
He says my church does not have the means for salvation.
And perhaps he is right. My church does not have the means for salvation. But Christ has those means. And I believe that Christ is beside us as we worship in the Little Warehouse Church That Could. If our God is a loving god, why would he turn his backs on his followers who worship differently? Do we turn our salvation down by not having a first holy communion, baptism or confession? Does Jesus love us less because a woman led our worship? Is God pissed off because we used a condom with our spouse because we did not have the means to properly care and protect for a child on loan to us from Him?
What did the Pope hope to accomplish in this document? What did the Pope think he was going to accomplish? And more importantly, what did the Pope actually accomplish? Did he desire to alienate other Christians? Did he desire to show the outside world how broken, divided and un-Christ-like the Christian people are?
Was the Pope attempting to point towards Christ in the issuing of this document?
Bridal Bliss
I am a crappy bride.
And I’m not presenting that in a “I moonlight as bridezilla causing terror in the hearts of bridesmaids everywhere” sort of way.
I’m that bride that cares tremendously about the way this day looks and at the same time, I don’t give a rat’s ass.
I am a crappy bride.
When Brian and I first started to plan our wedding, I really tried, with all of my heart, to engage in a less is more strategy. A wedding is only one day. It does not make a marriage. A marriage will not be better or worse based on the number of guests who attend, how plentiful the flowers were, or whether or not the bridesmaids are perfectly matched. None of those things reflect a level of committment to making a marriage work. They instead reflect a committment to material things.
From the beginning, I wanted this to be simple. I did not have much of a desire for flowers. I wanted this to be a “clean line” wedding. I wanted classic and timeless and less fuss. I wanted more people and minimal fluff. I wanted great pictures of the people I love, not great pictures of flowers and reception sites.
Our wedding is going to take place in our little warehouse church called The Well. (Check out our website at www.thewellpa.com) It is fitting there. Brian and I met because of The Well. It is a place where we belong and where we are supported.
But then…
There is the nightmare that is the reception.
My mother has decided that the reception shall take place at the Middletown Country Club, where she and my father had their reception sixteen years ago. Very over the top, a lavish display of money, and nothing that resembles the clean, classic wedding that Brian and I desire.
I know I should be happy that my parents want to provide this wedding for me, but at the same time, it is not the wedding I want. It is not the wedding that Brian wants. It is the wedding that my mother wishes she had years ago. I feel so ungrateful for all of it.
And I don’t want to feel that way.
I know it will be an enjoyable day for our guests. I know everyone will have a good time and I will have a good time. I know I will be amazed when I see Brian’s face waiting for me. I know I’ll probably cry like a baby at some point.
I’m still kinda sad that it won’t be the wedding that I want.
And I worry that someday I’ll plan the wedding that I dreamed of for my children instead of the wedding that they want.
I have this idea in my head that I should be happy as a bride, but instead, I feel like I just need to survive my wedding.
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