Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up
Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life
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Archive of "money" Category
First time home buying: And now, I wait.
We did it. Last night, we put a bid in on the one. We signed a lot of papers, had a heart attack as we wrote a check and then listened to the real estate agent tell us that buying your first home is a lot like realizing you are dating the person you want to marry.
Brian looked like he wanted to kick me as I tried to choke back the laughter because we never dated. Instead, he started telling the real estate agent about how my parents wanted to kill him.
We talked a lot about money. We talked about the money we have. We talked about the money we don’t have. Brian may have signed his life away. I may have started joking about the life insurance policy I need to take out on him. We signed more papers.
I think we’re still in shock.
Yesterday morning, we were still in the seriously considering step of the home buying process.
This morning, we are in the hoping and praying portion of the home buying process.
Who knows where we will be tomorrow morning.
I am surprised how hard it is to keep your emotions out of the process. I want to look at this as purely a financial transaction but that isn’t an accurate way to look at things. We are trying to buy someone’s home. We are trying to build a home of our own.
Now to just survive the next 48 hours of the process…
Why you can’t afford to forget your expense sheet.
The end of the month is quickly approaching… Have you submited your expense sheet yet? I know none of us would dream of not submitting our time sheets but for some reason, the same level of importance is not attached to our expense sheets.
I see it all the time at my office: individuals who are not salaried doing company errands on their own time and then never turn in an expense sheet or bill for the hours they worked. The worst part is that it is more common than you think. Frequently, my company only issues one or two reimbursement checks per month.
By not submitting an expense sheet, you are only setting yourself up for failure. You are sending several, very loud and very negative messages to your supervisors and your colleagues. You might as well walk around in a t-shirt that says “I don’t value myself and you shouldn’t either”.
Don’t understand why? Here’s a brief but by no means exhaustive list.
1. You just hurt your ability to negotiate for a raise. Have you gotten a raise lately? Was your last raise everything you wanted it to be? Do you make more money than you know what to do with? Are you independently wealthy and just working for kicks? Unless the answer for all of those questions is yes, you need to submit a sheet. The company isn’t going to remind. HR will not send you an email with the subject line “I notice we owe you money”. But they will notice. And if getting money that is rightfully yours isn’t high on your priority list, getting a raise probably isn’t. If I was your boss, I wouldn’t want to give you more money if you didn’t properly manage the money you already have.
2. You just said you have nothing better to do with your time. I want to work with a group of people with diverse interests and skills. I do not want to work with a group of people that only work. If you are running errands on your personal time and not billing for the hours, you just told your boss that you lead a flat, boring life. My most effective coworkers are individuals who are busy with philanthropy, sports, churches, special interest groups, etc. outside of work. Put yourself in the effective category and get a life.
3. You just obliterated your chance at work/life balance. If you are free to run company errands on your nights and weekends, you’ll never have time for the hobbies you now have in Point #2. While work/life balance is something that falls in the obsolete idea category, most management does not realize it yet. Working an eighty hour work week won’t make you happy. Finding time to better yourself outside of work will. Read a book, visit your grandparents, do some charity work – all of these activities add balance and meaning to your life.
4. You just discounted your contributions to the company. I periodically come into work on a Saturday morning or a Sunday afternoon to clear out some of the work that will only clog the beginning of my next week. I like to start Monday feel clear and refreshed. But when I come in, I make sure my boss and my boss’s boss know about it. And I make sure I’m paid for it. My weekend work time is some of my most productive time all week and I want to make sure my contributions are seen and appreciated. If you need to work a weekend, fine, do it, and do it with a smile on your face. But make sure it is noted. And make sure it doesn’t happen every week. Once a month is plenty. And take the extra cash you earn as an hourly associate and invest it in your career. The money I make in over time goes towards learning new skills that will benefit my career or new suiting.
As odd as it sounds, your expense sheet is a great way to show your company just how hard you work and it is your ticket to getting a company credit card if you haven’t already. If you don’t show that your contributions are consistent and beneficial, no one else will have the time to take note. Your expense sheet is a habit you can’t afford to neglect.
Married and Money
One of the scariest aspects about starting a new life with someone is the financial intimacy that must ensue. We are raised with an idea: someday you will grow up, meet someone you love, get married and your own personal happily ever after will begin. We never raise our children with the idea that marriage is hard, that money might not be plentiful or that we might need to be completely honest.
The money portion is where most of the difficulty lies.
Once you become married, that’s it. Any debt you acrue, at least in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, belongs to both of you. Any money you make, well, that also belongs to both of you. Unfortunately, spending money is easier than making money. And any debt you had prior to the marriage belongs soley to the individual who acquired it.
At the moment, I feel like I am up to my eyeballs in debt. I have student loans, credit card payments, USAA auto insurance, cell phone, plus lord knows what else. It overwhelms me. It stresses me out. It makes me feel as if it is very difficult to be a good wife.
In my head, I have this feel of, if only I made more money. But I know that wouldn’t really help. I would probably spend all of it. I would probably find new things that I “needed”. Or things that I wanted Brian to have.
So I pray. I pray and I try to be more honest. The first step I think is prayer but a close second is being honest with myself. If I’m not honest with myself on this, how can I be honest with Brian? And with our marriage? I am trying to be open about this, about my struggles, and about what my marriage will look like.
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