Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up
Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life
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Archive of "Home Buying" Category
Really? You know a guy?
In the attempts of being neighborly, our next door neighbor asked us how our first night in our new home went. I start beaming. Brian scowls and starts muttering about not being able to sleep at all.
At the risk of being the “dirty” people, I decide that this is a great time to announce the bug incident. Complete with me leaping around the driveway to give our neighbor the full impact of my hysteria. Classy. But before I can finish telling him about the bug, he bursts out with “What? A Water Bug?”
Clearly, he doesn’t understand how traumatic this was so I break out the ridiculous hand gestures and failing limbs to add to the leaping in order to paint a truly vivid story about the horror that ensued. I’m about to tell him that the bug was larger than my cat, had a knife and seemed to be connected with the mob when Neighbor Friend interrupts.
“Yeah, we get water bugs all the time.”
“I thought it was a cockroach. I don’t want to be a dirty person.”
“Nah, a water bug. You know, we know a guy.” (I should add that most of the block appears to be Italian in a bad stereotype way so to hear “we know a guy” was bound to happen eventually.) “He’s my wife’s friend and he’s the exterminator.” (What? Are you trying to have us killed?) “Next time he comes over, we’ll have him get in touch with you.” (This can’t be good.) “He’ll give you a good price.” (Wait, who am I supposed to be killing? Oh yes, the giant “water bug”.)
To be fair, my neighbor and his family are perfectly normal. I don’t think they have any sort of affliations with any sort of mafia. Not even Mafia Wars on facebook.
I just pretend I’m not a lunatic
In an older home, I expect there to be bugs. I’m not talking about a complete infestation but I try to remember that over time, things settle and cracks form and bugs find their way in. But that’s okay because for the most part they don’t harm anyone and it is good motivation to keep a clean home because it will keep the bugs away for the most part.
They won’t stay if they cannot find food.
Since we bought a home built over 90 years ago, I thought I’d be well prepared for what was to come. Every time Brian ripped out a piece of baseboard to replace it, I expected to see bugs scurrying away. But there were none.
Never saw a single insect.
I expected to find bugs in the basement. I expect to find nasty yucky creatures behind the oil tank when it was replaced. Once again, nothing.
I was lucky. I was happy. Despite the volume of work my home required, I did not have bugs. This was the good life and this was my dream home.
So we moved in and on our first night in our new home I’m about to climb into bed with my dear sweet husband who provided me with this glorious house. And then I notice something on the floor and I go to pick it up and throw it out. It is dark in color and about an inch long.
It moves. And I fight the urge to scream my head off because we have friends staying with us and I don’t want them to think I’m a dirty person who lives in a bug infested house.
Instead I leap on top of the bed with the force and speed of an Olympic athlete, grab a hold of a very confused Brian and whisper frantically “it’s a bug, BRIAN, it’s a bug”.
Brian calmly gets out of bed and beats the insect with his sock until it scurries out of the room and through a crack in the wall in the hallway while I do the full body shudder like a small baby with a developing nervous system.
Then panic sets in. Because the truth of the matter is that I can expect to find bugs in my home but that doesn’t change the fact that I am terrified of bugs.
Suddenly my mind is racing and my mouth is struggling to keep up with the words spewing forth. “It must a cockroach. It has to be a cockroach. Of course we didn’t have any little bugs, the cockroach was eating the little bugs for survival. But I learned in my food and safety class that there is never just one…”
“I don’t think it was a cockroach” Brian attempts to interject.
“…cockroach. There are always multiple cockroaches. Multiple. Brian, I think our walls are filled with cockroaches and now we live in squalor. Do you think your dad will let us move back in with him?”
“I really don’t think it was a cockroach…”
“We’re now the dirty people, Brian. We’re living in my dream house and it’s filled with cockroaches and bugs and WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? We don’t have money for an exterminator! We just bought a house! What were we thinking?!?!”
“I’ll lay some traps tomorrow. I don’t think it was a cockroach. It’s going to be fine.”
“I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation.”
“I’m going to bed now.”
Moral of the story: Don’t have house guests the first night you sleep in your new place. You can’t scream your head off like the lunatic you actually are when a giant insect tries to escape your insanity.
7 Tips for 1st Time Home Buying
When we bought our house in August, we had a rough idea of what we were getting into. The short of it is that we got ourselves into a lot of work. Our house is 90 years old and not in the best of condition. This was not going to be some two week project that was going to make our home livable.
A lot of people will like to tell first time home buyers that building sweat equity is a great way to go. It definitely can be but it certainly isn’t for everyone. Unless you know what you are doing, I’d recommend that you not even bother. Sure, your best friend from college may have done it but that is very different from you doing it.
If you’ve never picked up a hammer before, you won’t want to undertake some of the bigger projects like electrical, plumbing or dry wall. I won’t deny that there is a possibility that you will be able to accomplish these tasks but there is also a possibility that it won’t go as planned and you’ll actually do damage to the most expensive asset you have.
Here are some tips or ideas to talk about if you are thinking of undertaking a similar project.
1. Stick to what you know.
I know how to paint and scrape wall paper off of walls so the majority of the time I spend working on the house, involves doing just that. My husband is a professional carpenter so he heads up projects involving carpentry. When we got to the project that involved installing the oil tank, we did not attempt it on our own. We called our friend the pipe fitter and traded Brian’s carpentry skills for an installation. Similarly, my dad has headed our efforts to redo the house’s electric because he has a level of expertise. That arrangement is great because Brian can work with him on the project and expand his own skill set.
2. Break your project into phases.
When you walk into a handy-man’s special, it is so easy to get overwhelmed. There is so much that needs to be done and it seems like it all should have been done yesterday. Sometimes it seems like it will never get done. I’ve seen more than one man cry at the giant to do list that a fixer upper requires. Don’t worry about everything. You’ll only kill yourself in the process. We broke our renovation project down into five phases listed below. We determined our phases by physical location in the house and estimated cost.
Phase 1: Living Room, Hallway, Bedroom 2 and Bedroom 3
Phase 2: Master Bedroom Suite, Office
Phase 3: Apartment
Phase 4: Kitchen, Guest Bathroom
Phase 5: Outside
3. Cost is an issue.
We did not do our most expensive projects first. Why? We just bought a house; cash flow is different than it used to be. Until we had a better idea of the true impact owning a home would have on our finances, we put off the bigger projects. You’ll notice in Tip #2 that Phase 4 would involve the kitchen. The current kitchen is usable although not ideal. By waiting until further along in the process, it gives us more time to save and budget correctly. Also, we get to hold out for the things we really want instead of getting things we can barely afford.
4. Start up, work down.
Our master bedroom suite is directly over the apartment area and there is a possibility that damage will be done to the apartment as we rough out the suite and add a bathroom. Rather than damage the completed apartment, we are doing the area above it first. The second floor of our home will be completed long before the downstairs and we’ll use barriers of plastic to minimize the dust that is always around.
5. Create a generous, flexible timeline.
Unless you are independently wealthy and have no need to work, renovations will not be your fulltime job (then again, if you were independently wealthy, you would probably purchase a house that was move-in ready or hire someone to make it so). You’ll still have to go work each day, eat and spend time with loved ones. If working our house was Brian’s full time job, we would be done already. By have a generous time line, we avoid feelings of frustration and disappoint.
6. Be flexible, but not too flexible.
The week my grandfather died, work stopped. Mainly because I was a big blubbering mess (okay, I’m still having those moments, but he raised me and I keep being told its okay to not be okay). This was a major, life changing event. It was okay to stop – that was time Brian and I needed to be with family. This is why the timeline is generous. But it isn’t okay to stop because you need to play video games everyday or because you just don’t feel like it. Flexibility is there for the big things and not for the moments where you are feeling high maintenance. (By the way, this tip also doubles as excellent career advice.)
7. Help others.
Anytime you are taking on a project this big, you are going to need some help, even if it is just another set of hands to help paint. You can’t do it all yourself but you also can’t expect everyone to drop everything to help you. Don’t just recruit your friends but do something for them as well. Maybe you promise to help on their next painting project. Maybe you trade them some free hours of work from your area of expertise (I have a friend who is an accountant who pays for all of his home improvements by preparing taxes for free for guys that are in the construction trades). If you don’t help others, no one is going to want to help you. Sometimes Brian takes a Saturday off from work to install crown molding or baseboards for a friend. Just because it is a big project doesn’t mean that you get to stop being a kind person. (Bonus tip: if you aren’t sure how to properly network, this is a very good way to start. Help someone else with no strings. If someone offers to help you, return the favor.)
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