Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up
Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life
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Archive of "Guest Posts" Category
Guest Post: The Potent Power of Pursuing Your Passion
One of my favorite things about blogging is the people I meet because of my blog experiences. Take for example, Peter Normandia from Yin vs. Yang. I discovered him through Jonathon Mead over at Illuminated Mind. Peter isn’t necessarily someone I would discover on my own but because of connecting with other people through the words they share, I now have the chance to share with you a guest post by Peter. Enjoy!
I do not have all the answers, or possibly even any, but I do know what my past experiences have shown is key to living a good, satisfying life.
It all starts with following your passion.
I believe I am probably most passionate about being creative. Be it film, business strategies, web applications, camp programs, blogging, or making marketing videos, if I am creating, I am happy. There is nothing better for me than creating something no one else could have ever possibly made exactly the same. It gives me a great sense of pride and accomplishment.
I believe this to be true for everyone.
It is natural to feel this way as a human being. It does not matter if you create football plays, Jiu Jitsu moves, a school curriculum, happiness, cinnamon rolls, better employees, poems, home runs or the best pooper scooper in the world. If you are creating, you are going to have a deep sense of pride. You are going to have something that you can call your own. Something no one can ever take from you. Hence, the incredible sense of accomplishment.
Even look at the change over the years in the pride people put into their work. Things that were handcrafted were always better than the counterparts from the factories. They just were not made fast enough. So factories won out and the Industrial Age was born. Unfortunately, lost in the work was the pride and sense of accomplishment of someone passionate about what they are building. Instead, you had people screwing in one screw 5,000 times a day. Hard to find passion in that I would imagine.
What do you create?
I live for the butterflies I get before revealing my latest creation. It’s what drives me to get through the tough part of creating it in the first place. Having a great idea is one thing. Executing it to its completion is the real accomplishment.
That’s why creating something gives everyone such a sense of pride. Like a real tough day at the gym, you made it through the work load. Instead of giving up, you pushed yourself to reach your goal. It is not easy to travel a path no one has before you. It is not easy to risk failure without a scapegoat. It is certainly not easy to go out on your own. These are all of the reasons people wind up giving up their passions.
I know, because I once gave up mine.
When I graduated film school, I took a year to try and become a writer/director. One year, that’s it. Then, because I was getting married, and desperate to start my adult life, I completely put my dream on hold to get a job in the hot mortgage industry. Two years later, we all know how that went. However, it’s not because of that. I could have done something else and been very successful in terms of finances. It still would not have been my passion.
We have one life that we all are guaranteed. The rest is up for debate, and unfortunately, I’m not sure if we will ever have all the answers. So for this one life we do get, we really owe it to ourselves to get the most out of it. Be yourself, live your passion, and give the world what it has never experienced before:
You.
My experience has clearly showed me that living your passion beats building up your bank account, keeping up with the Jones’, or looking the part of success. Whenever I am feeling down, I just go back and look at some of the things I have created. It always lifts my spirits, and gives me the energy I need to continue on.
As the great blogger Steve Pavlina recently tweeted on twitter,
” What are you doing to contribute to the lives of others? If the answer is little or nothing, that explains why your finances are suffering.”
Think about what you are passionate about. Think about the joy you get out of it. Think of the job you would be able to do if you could just do what you were most passionate about. When you’re done smiling from the thought, think about how warm it made you feel inside. Now, think why on Earth you are not doing that.
Then answer this question in the comments section…
Are those reasons more important than getting the most out of your life, and subsequently becoming a better person for everyone?
Guest Post: Is being a Yuppie so bad?
The first time I encountered Alex Fisher was on a blogging conference call, set up by Brazen Careerist. We get on the line for a chance to talk to Penelope Trunkwith a few other Gen Y bloggers and no one else dials in. On one hand, I was pretty annoyed – who do these people think they are to stand up Penelope Trunk and a chance to have their blogging questions answered. On the other hand, it was great – Alex and I had a great opportunity to ask lots of questions and get individualized attention (and who doesn’t love attention)!
I hope you enjoy Alex’s guest post today, Is being a Yuppie so bad? It is a fun take on an uncomfortable title.
What is a Yuppie?
I’ve heard people use the word ‘yuppie’ referring to other people, sometimes referring to me. I’ve heard it used with both negative and positive connotations, too. I set out to determine what a yuppie really is today and if I am one.
From Wikipedia: The term yuppie (short for “young urban professional” or “young upwardly-mobile professional”) refers to self-reliant, financially secure individualists, particularly from the upper-middle class.
Am I a Yuppie?
Alright, so reading the first definition I can see that perhaps describing me. I am a young upwardly-mobile professional as I have gone from being a college student living at home working part-time to living on my own working full-time and more.
Self-reliant? Totally, at least, as self-reliant as a human can realistically be in this world. I don’t have delusions that I can get by in the world alone without the help of anyone else. Friends and family are important and support me in what I do, but I realize it’s up to me to do those things that are important to get done.
Financially secure individualist? Yeah, totally. I have some student loan debt and who knows where this economy is going in the next few years, but I’ve been saving money and enjoy my old shoes and old car still. I don’t have the latest and greatest luxuries and gadgets most of the time, and I mean come on– I started a finance blog. I’m a personal finance nerd!
Upper-middle class? Well, taking opinion out of it I decided to type my salary into Global Rich List and get an idea of where I fall in line of the richest people in the world. Chances were just by being American I would rank high so I looked at where the average family making $50,000 / year is and compared myself to it. It will suffice it to say I’m at least middle class and probably close enough to upper-middle class in terms of income.
So, according to Wikipedia’s definition I fit the description of being a yuppie and have no need to ashamed of it.
What else could yuppie mean?
Top entry of many on Urban Dictionary: a very arrogant well put together young urban professional who you more than likely will find wearing Gucci and prada with a large bank account which they love to brag about. You can find them drinking Starbucks, living in a one bedroom apartment in a city where they will pay 1000-2000 a month for and spending another 3000 a month on their credit cards. They brag about their designer clothes and love to flaunt them , as well as their wealth. They look down upon anyone who isn’t as wealthy or high status as they are. Men are likely to be found wearing designer suits, Gucci preferably with slicked back or well cut hair. The women will be wearing Prada/Gucci and Fendi. The most arrogant conceited f**ks on the planet.
The entry went on to give most of the characters in the excellent movie American Psycho as examples of yuppies.
Wow, so that description of a yuppie is most definitely not one I’d like to associate to myself. And certainly, when the term was coined in the 1980s and was aimed more at young urban professionals with an arrogance to match their over-inflated wallets the negative connotation of the word could be assumed.
I think what’s illustrated in these two different definitions is that the term yuppie means different things to different people in different times.
The definition of yuppie is changing
I’m under the impression the term is losing it’s negative connotation and is evolving to represent young professionals who are trying to do well and lead the way for our generation to take responsibility for the world in which we live.
It seems like some of the initial negativity in the term yuppie could have been caused not only because of the prideful spirit of the young urban professionals, but because of the jealousy of the people lacking less money, objects, and social status than the yuppies of the 80s.
Today, I look around and see lots of new luxury cars on the road, people wearing brand new $50 t-shirts that were designed to look old, expensive sunglasses, a Starbucks on every corner, and lots of expensive martini bars. These aren’t necessarily bad things, but I think the culture has moved from jealousy to trying to emulate the living large style and delusions of the original yuppies. At one time, if you had a cell phone that automatically made you a yuppie. The term has since lost it’s original meaning as the quality, or perhaps excess, of everyone’s life has grown.
So, sure I like a good expensive martini sometimes. And even though I’ll drive my current Ford Focus into the ground past it’s current 102,000 miles I will eventually get a new car– maybe even a fancy full size one! However, I lack much of the delusion and pride of the original yuppies and think others like me are out there too.
Generation Y and the new yuppies
Many of us in our 20s and 30s are self-reliant individualists, have money in the bank or a 401K, work hard and are doing better than our parents, and realize we have it better than a lot of people. We do these things and live this lifestyle not thinking we are better than everyone else who has less, but realizing our efforts help influence our luck and take responsibility for the direction and success of our own life.
We are the new yuppies and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Alex Fisher rants periodically on his personal website Young Professional Finance Blog. You can read more about saving, investing, and financial ideas for and by young professionals on YPFB.
Guest Post: Support your local everything
Last Tuesday, I published a guest post by Gary Alloway, where he wrote about disconnection and suburban poverty. This week, Gary is writing about the changes we all need to make in our communities. Check out last week’s post and I hope you take part in the conversation.
“Support Your Local Everything!” I saw this bumper sticker in a local coffee shop recently. The coffee shop was supplying coffee for over 20 businesses in the area. They provided quick, personal service when their equipment broke down. They bought many of their ingredients from local vendors. And they paid their employees a livable wage along with benefits. I wrote previously that what makes suburban poverty unique is the experience of disconnection. Therefore, the solution to suburban poverty is building healthy communities. This begins with a sense of locality.
Do you live in suburbia? Who lives in your community? What are their values? What makes your community unique? What does your town smell like? Most people in suburbia cannot answer these questions because our geographical identity and culture is not determined by where we are, but by an urban center that is 20 miles away. In college, a friend of mine took a course on city planning where every student was asked to write about a place of interest. Every urbanite and small towner wrote about his or her community. Not a single suburbanite did. Suburbanites are not taught to be aware of where they live (an ignorance facilitated by large tracts of unincorporated sprawl with no centralization). Tackling suburban poverty begins with opening our eyes to our communities. We will not take ownership of our community until we actually know where we are and are proud of it.
If you need help with this, I suggest walking or biking in your community. (This will be awkward in most suburbs, but do it anyway). At a slower speed, we see the ways our communities are put together. We will find historic houses, small creeks, and interesting people. But we will also see the low-income workers waiting for the bus. We see the prostitute who always hangs out at the budget motel. We notice the apartment complex where the paint is peeling off. At 75 mph, these are blurs. At walking speed, we actually see the suburban poor.
Proximity allows us to help the poor in more meaningful ways. It is very difficult to integrate someone into your life when they live 30 miles away. When they are your neighbors, you can invite them to church, have them over for dinner, help them find a job, or give them a ride to a doctor’s appointment. In relationship, the poor stop being a project and start being people. Poverty is a dehumanizing experience. Relationship is just as necessary for healing as any sort of financial assistance. Locality allows us to have real relationships with the poor rather than just writing a check and crossing charity off our to do list. Relationships contribute to healthy communities, rather than quick fixes.
And any healthy community must have strong local business. Local businesses provide jobs and will not move these jobs the second cheaper workers become available somewhere else. They are more likely to support local charities and advocate on local issues, rather than doing their corporate responsibility by sending a large check to a large, disconnected charity. Local businesses also have accountability. When an owner is a neighbor to their employee, he is far less likely to pay exploitative wages. When an owner is a neighbor, she is far less likely to do ecological or economic damage to the larger community. And money put into local business is far more likely to stay within your community and actually trickle down, rather than build up corporate headquarters a thousand miles away. Many local businesses cannot compete with the flashiness or locations of the chains, so you may not even know they are there. Take your time. Open your eyes to your community.
Also hidden in our suburban communities are the saints who have been working with the poor for decades. Poverty is a huge issue and frankly, we lack the funds and the expertise to make a dent in the larger issues. But in partnership, we are able to bring together resources, ideas, and leadership in ways that can change a community. So we need to know who is at work in our community. Our church talked for years of starting a community center in our warehouse space. The only problem was that such a project would probably cost $100,000 to start, meaning it would never actually happen. As we went into our community, we discovered that our township had been planning community events, but lacked a meeting space. We are currently in discussion about hosting community events that they would fund and staff. A local mindset breeds connections and partnerships that are necessary for healthy community.
In a culture obsessed with the bottom line, we often lose sight of beauty. Most suburban communities are not built to be beautiful. There is little value placed upon green space. Architecture is based upon convenience rather than style. Things like murals and landscaping are neglected because nobody is on foot. The arts are left to the city. The poor need good jobs. The poor need real relationships. But the poor also need beauty. And the lack of beauty in our communities makes us all poor. Beauty is a tough sell in communities obsessed with upping the tax base. But if we have pride in our communities then we will desire them to be attractive and unique. And hopefully we will make them beautiful.
Overcoming suburban poverty is not about diverting that donation from Africa to Levittown. It is about building healthy communities – communities where the poor can find decent housing and good jobs, communities that have relational networks of support, and communities where people care for their neighbors. This is a multifaceted and deeply complex. But it begins with a local awareness that is so often lacking in suburbia. Want to help the suburban poor? Support your local everything.
Guest Post: Disconnection and Suburban Poverty
Today’s guest post was written by Gary Alloway. Gary is a graduate of Penn State and Princeton Theological Seminary. He is also a part time pastor at The Well. Hassling Gary is a hobby for Brian and I (more so for me, Brian might just be along for the ride) - at the moment, my favorite thing to hassle him is whether he is Gen X or Gen Y and his preference for Bright Eyes.
This is the first of two posts by Gary about suburban poverty. I hope it makes you a little uncomfortable and I hope it makes you want to change something.
When most people think of poverty in America, they think urban or rural. Yet more than half of those in poverty in America live in suburbia. Bucks County (where I live) is one of the wealthiest counties in Pennsylvania, yet 5% of the county lives below the poverty line. While the problems of suburban poverty often mirror those of the city, the defining characteristic of suburban poverty is disconnection.
In suburbia, communities do not function as integrated units. We do not know the neighbors. We rarely walk anywhere in the community. We do not know who owns the stores in which we shop. Public places, such as parks, community centers, or local cafes, almost never serve as meeting points. As a result, all of our relational encounters are voluntary. And birds of a feather flock together. To the middle class, the poor become invisible. We do not see them, hear them, or know them. Most people in suburbia are ignorant of the poverty in their own backyard. It is common for churches and other community organizations to seek to help the poor, driving past the budget motel and the low-end apartment complex on their way to the inner-city.
Because we are disconnected from those in poverty, we do not build communities that accommodate the poor. Low-income housing is neglected in favor of faceless high-end housing that will increase the tax base (as though someone who buys a characterless house on a characterless street in a characterless town will have a great investment in the community). The poor are forced to scrape for housing they cannot afford. Budgets become fragile, making homelessness a real threat. Those who can afford housing often do so by working hours that disconnect them from their families.
When low-income housing is built, it is usually tucked away behind the strip mall or next to the railroad tracks or off the highway; places we drive by at 75 mph and hence, never see. The end result is very small ghettos – pockets of poverty that mirror the worst inner-city neighborhoods, but due to their size and location, are invisible. It is hard to overlook the 25 square miles of poverty in North Philadelphia (though we do our best). It is very easy to overlook the apartment complex. We do not know the poor, so we do build communities that accommodate the poor and their isolation is furthered. Disconnection breeds disconnection.
This disconnection is difficult to overcome because suburbia presumes the automobile. Without a car in suburbia, you are screwed. I work with single parents trying to overcome poverty in Bucks County. Imagine trying to coordinate day care, a job, school, and visits to your case manager when you live in a town where the bus comes once an hour to a stop that is half a mile away. Imagine getting to the grocery store and back. The middle class do not ride public transportation so they do not invest in it. And the bus becomes the ghetto, a small convoy of the poor, disconnected from their community.
Even the most motivated person has trouble overcoming suburban poverty. I used to work at a homeless shelter in downtown Denver and within a ten-minute walk, one could reach the free clinic, the day shelter, the food bank, the social security office, and hundreds of jobs. But while I was there, gentrification was dispersing poverty, pushing the poor into the outer rings of the city and into suburbia. Bucks County has many social programs to help the poor, from welfare to job training programs. But they are disconnected. The locations are disconnected. The organizations are disconnected. Those who take advantage of them will find themselves trying to put together a puzzle of pieces that don’t create a clear picture.
Urban ghettos can be places of immense oppression, where the depth of suffering is palpable. But urban ghettos can also be places where tragedy binds residents together in vibrant community. The suburban poor are more likely to find themselves alone – isolated from communities where prosperity is the norm – a silent anhedonic suffering. Physically, socially, and spiritually, suburban poverty is an experience of disconnection.
Guest Post: I want to be a four year old!
Today’s guest post comes from Kristina Summers of Everyday Public Relations. Kristina is from Georgia, the mother of three and is also in grad school. I am amazed by her ability to balance her home life and her work life. Kristina’s blog is also part of the Brazen Careerist network. Enjoy!
I want to be a four year old!
I took my son to the dentist today. It was only his second trip in six months, the bi-annual cleaning, but boy did he have a great time.
Six months ago, a different story. I actually had to hold him down while they pried open his clamped shut jaws. He bit me and the technician, but she got the job done and we left the office with a clean bill of health and the reassuring news that he had “near perfect tooth structure”. What a relief, only two other children to go.
So you can imagine my apprehension at dragging my wonderfully active four-year-old pre-K veteran back to the dentist today. I actually woke up late and I am convinced that my subconscious was trying to get me out of the dreaded task.
Well, my fears were soon to go up in a puff of smoke…he was great. He was still and cooperative, as long as they kept answering his inquiries. He wanted to know about everything and had a million stories he was anxious to share. We all left the office with smiles, and that included the dentist and the aforementioned bitten tech that actually squirmed when our names were called. (Was she really rubbing a phantom bite-mark when she first saw us?)
When did it happen? I’m not sure, but at some point he turned from the insane “I-want-I-want-I-want-NOW-NOW-NOW!” terrible two and then three year old, into the delightfully curious and interesting four year old he is today.
He asks a million questions…wants to know everything about everything. If only life could continue to hold that fascination for adults.
He truly enjoys every day, always excited about the new and wonderful things he will learn. His wonder at the world around him is almost enough to bring you to tears.
I find myself staring sometimes.
What would our crazy world be like if we all took a little time to remember what it was like when the world was new? Without cynicism, regret or even a mild case of the “what if’s.”
If we took a regular nap, played with our food, kept our hands to ourselves and made a point to wear non-matching socks…
I know we all grow up and that it is slightly delusional to want to be a child again, but I can’t help but ponder on the ridiculousness of endless credit card debt, continued poverty (in the U.S) and gang violence.
I want to revel in the beauty all around us. Celebrate wonder.
There are lessons we can learn from observing the innocent.
Live your life as if it were a video game
Guest post today by Jun Loayza! In case you haven’t discovered him on your own yet, Jun is the CMO of Future Delivery, blogs regularly and is part of the Brazen Careerist community. I asked Jun to write about something he is passionate about and I love his perspective on approaching life. I hope this changes the way you approach living.
“My name is Cloud Strife, and I fought against the evil forces of Shinra. I stood against the evil Sephiroth and managed to save the planet by destroying him.”
Yes, I was an uber dork in high school, but living in this fantasy world is just oh so fun. The game that I’m referring to above is Final Fantasy VII – it was the last role playing game that I ever played and truly lost myself in. Playing video games is extremely addicting in our society. We see it all the time with hardcore gamers in World of Warcraft or Starcraft. WoW is so addicting that players have actually died from starvation!
I used to live my life like an NPC (Non Playable Character). We have all seen these characters in video games; they stand around in towns to make the place look more lively and fun. They’re always doing the same exact thing, never progress, and are just bystanders to the actual main story of the game. I was an NPC because I was just on cruise-control with my life. I never really had to try hard to achieve anything because everything just came to me: I wanted to get into UCLA, and I got in; I wanted to become a brother in Delta Sigma Pi, and I received a bid; if I wanted to start dating this cute girl in class, I (usually) started dating her. Because of my easy-going life style and my philosophy of letting things just happen to me, I was a true NPC of my life. I was just watching it go by.
Fall 06 was the turning point in my life. I was interviewing for full-time offers in Consulting and approached the recruiting process with the same NPC mentality. After a few interviews, I started feeling confused because I hadn’t heard back from the companies. I went home one weekend to visit the family and saw the letters on my desk, the letters that you dread as a high school student looking to get into college and as a graduating senior looking to get a full-time job. They were my first rejection letters.
It felt like a ton of bricks had just given me a blow to the chest. I had never felt so useless, unwanted, and rejected. I had been cruising in my life, just letting things happen and never truly taking the initiative to progress my life story.
Do you know how you spot an NPC in real life? Go up to someone and ask them, “What’s new?” If they say, “Same old, same old,” then you just found yourself an NPC.
My life of playing video games, ditching class, and non-stop drinking must be put to a stop now. I turned to my friend and now business partner Yu-kai Chou who had a similar turning point in his life. He advised me, “Why don’t you live your life as if it were a video game?” “What in the world are you talking about?” I asked…
Your primary goal in an RPG (role playing game) is to increase in level, gain new abilities, and become a more powerful player. It’s fun to do it in a fantasy world, so why not do it in real life? You can gain new abilities by learning a new programming language, learning a new language, or reading a new business book. You can gain in your social attributes by constantly networking and joining social networking sites that will increase the variety of your social circles. You can level-up in real life by developing yourself personally and professionally. This is what I decided to do and it has dramatically changed my life for the better.
So what did I do? I gained in my leadership attributes by founding Bruin Consulting and the Undergraduate Case Competition at UCLA. I gained experience points by founding The Veridical Group – a small business consulting firm. I increased my social level by creating a blog and making an effort to meet the blogging community. I turned my life into a video game and made it my goal to constantly keep leveling up in real life.
This life goal has lead Yu-kai and I to found Future Delivery. Our goal with Future Delivery is to help student and young professionals have fun with career and professional development. We recently launched our site FD Career which helps you lead your life as if it were a video game. Every time you gain an internship, get a high GPA, or become the leader of an organization, you gain experience points and level up on the site. As you gain in level, you earn prestige, are rewarded new features and abilities, and gain the ability to recruit with prestigious firms. Yu-kai and I had to go through a huge road block in our lives to reach this epiphany. Our hope is that with FD Career, students and young professionals will realize that leveling up in real life is much more fun and rewarding that leveling up your fantasy character in a video game.
I am Level 34 in real life. What level are you?
A Girl’s Best Friend
Today I’d like to share a guest post from Deb. Deb lives in the Philadelphia suburbs, blogs at The Writer Bee and is part of The Well community. At the bottom of the post, I’ve linked to a few of my favorite posts she has shared on her blog. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have.
Only a week into getting back to “the real world” after having spent 10 days with my best friend at her home in Seattle, I’m still feeling the pain of being separated from her and thought I’d take a few minutes to speak on this.
The importance of friends in our lives is really immeasurable. We need relationships. We’re designed to need them. When we don’t have them, we make them up (think: imaginary friends) or we start talking to volleyballs (think: Tom Hanks). The point? They’re important. As a single chick, I think they’re more than just important…they’re vital. I mean, I love my dog, but let’s face it – she’s not actually human. Maybe a man’s best friend can be a four-legged, furry beast with no language skills, but that doesn’t really work for me.
That may be part of the difference between friendships with men vs. other women. I think it’s great to have friends from both sides of the gender camp, but we are wired very differently and there’s no substitute in life I’ve found for a girlfriend who can commiserate with me over coffee about the things in my life that are strictly “girl-things” (although a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is a close second…)
In my early-20s when my single friends were dropping like flies from the dating scene as wedding rings were slipped on their fingers, I feared our relationships would change…or, worse yet, that I would actually lose their friendships. That their “significant other” would step in and take the place of all their other friends making us null and void. While it was a bit touch-and-go for awhile as they all sorted out the “what it means to be married” mystery, in the end most of my now-married friends seem to value our friendship just as much (if not more) than they did before. Phew!
My friend in Seattle actually just got married last December to a fantastic guy who it took awhile to find, but was absolutely worth the wait. Our friendship (which has been to hell and back a few times over the past 12 years) has remained constant and grown even stronger. As an added bonus, I also enjoy her husband so much that I’m excited to count him as a friend also. This a huge blessing next to friends I have whose husbands I barely know or don’t much care for.
When you’re thirty-something and single with no end in sight, your friends are more than just friends. They’re family. If I didn’t have my friends, I would probably spend a lot more time in tears, drunk, or both. I’d laugh a lot less. I’d feel a lot more lonely.
So listen-up all your married women: Pay attention to your single friends – they need you…and you need them (whether you recognize it or not). While your husband and children (where applicable) come first, keep in mind that it’s important to keep other women friends in your life (and try to find some single ones if you don’t already – we have different perspectives and stories to tell).
The point? My friends are my lifelines. They keep me grounded, make me laugh, cry with me, are in my corner, give me perspective, teach me, and love me. We might be thousands of miles and timezones apart, but I know they’re just a phone call, an email, or a flight away if I need them…and that makes all the difference. Good thing, too, otherwise I might begin chatting to random sporting equipment.
Other Posts by The Writer Bee:
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