Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Online
Tramadol Online
Tramadol Hcl
Tramadol Side-Effects
Tramadol Side Effects
Tramadol For Dogs
Tramadol 50mg
Tramadol 50 Mg
What Is Tramadol
Tramadol Dosage
Tramadol High
Buy Tramadol
Is Tramadol A Narcotic
Tramadol Overnight
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg
Side Effects Of Tramadol
Tramadol Hcl 50mg
Tramadol Withdrawal
Tramadol Addiction
Order Tramadol Online
Tramadol Recreational Use
Snorting Tramadol
Tramadol Withdrawal Symptoms
Tramadol Hydrochloride
Tramadol Apap
Is Tramadol An Opiate
Does Tramadol Get You High
Tramadol No Prescription
How Long Does Tramadol Stay In Your System
Cheap Tramadol
Tramadol C O D
Tramadol Abuse
Tramadol And Alcohol
Tramadol Vs Vicodin
Tramadol Overdose
Tramadol Cod
Order Tramadol
Tramadol Ingredients
Tramadol Online Pharmacy
What Is Tramadol Used For
Tramadol Online No Prescription
Tramadol Acetaminophen
Can You Snort Tramadol
Tramadol Dosage For Dogs
Buy Tramadol C O D
Tramadol Dogs
Buy Tramadol Cod
Is Tramadol A Controlled Substance
Tramadol Dose
Is Tramadol Addictive
Buy Tramadol Online No Prescription
Tramadol 100mg
Tramadol Half Life
Online Tramadol
Buy Tramadol No Prescription
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Tablet
Tramadol Hcl 50mg Tab
Tramadol Drug Test
Tramadol 50mg For Dogs
Tramadol Vs Hydrocodone
How Much Tramadol To Get High
Tramadol Schedule
Erowid Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Without Prescription
Tramadol Without Prescription
Overnight Tramadol
Tramadol Ultram
Generic Tramadol
Tramadol Dosing
Tramadol 50
Tramadol Controlled Substance
50 Mg Tramadol
Tramadol Side Effects Dogs
Tramadol 50mg Side Effects
Tramadol For Dogs Dosage
Tramadol Narcotic
Tramadol Without Prescriptions
What Is Tramadol Hcl
Can You Get High Off Tramadol
Tramadol 50mg Tablets
Tramadol Prescription
Tramadol Medication
Tramadol Street Value
Tramadol Uses
Buy Tramadol Overnight
Tramadol Buy
Tramadol Interactions
What Is Tramadol 50mg
Acetaminophen Tramadol
Ultram Tramadol
Buy Cheap Tramadol
Tramadol An 627
Buy Tramadol Online Without A Prescription
Tramadol And Ibuprofen
Tramadol And Pregnancy
Tramadol Generic
Cheap Tramadol Online
Tramadol For Dogs Side Effects
Tramadol Hcl Side Effects
Tramadol 319
Tramadol Vs Percocet
Tramadol Wiki
Can You Get High On Tramadol
Tramadol For Cats
Tramadol Drug Interactions
Ultram Tramadol
Tramadol Hydrochloride 50 Mg
Does Tramadol Show Up On A Drug Test
50mg Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Online C O D
Tramadol Drug
Side Effects Tramadol
Next Day Tramadol
Tramadol Cheap
Tramadol Er
Snort Tramadol
Online Pharmacy Tramadol
What Does Tramadol Look Like
What Is In Tramadol
Purchase Tramadol
Tramadol Effects
Tramadol Classification
Will Tramadol Show Up On A Drug Test
Tramadol Acetaminophen 37.5-325
Discount Tramadol
Tramadol Acetaminophen 37.5 325
Buy Tramadol Online Cod
Tramadol Vs Oxycodone
Tramadol Side Effects In Dogs
Tramadol Cod Overnight
Tramadol For Sale
Tramadol Price
Ez Tramadol
What Does Tramadol Do
Tramadol Online Cod
Tramadol For Depression
Buying Tramadol Online
Tramadol And Vicodin
Tramadol Opiate
Tramadol Recreational
Tramadol 180
Tramadol Online Overnight
Tramadol Pharmacy
100mg Tramadol
Cod Tramadol
Tramadol And Hydrocodone
C O D Tramadol
Effects Of Tramadol
Tramadol In Dogs
Tramadol Seizures
Tramadol Online No Prescription Overnight
Tramadol Alcohol
Tramadol Dosages
Tramadol Reviews
Tramadol 50 Mg Side Effects
Tramadol Overnight Shipping
Tramadol Pain Medication
Tramadol For Headaches
Side Effects Of Tramadol In Dogs
Tramadol Mg
Tramadol 50 Mg High
Buy Tramadol Online Overnight
Tramadol Overnight Delivery
Tramadol Bargain
Tramadol Recreational Dose
Tramadol And Tylenol
What Is Tramadol 50 Mg
Tramadol Headache
Tramadol Mechanism Of Action
Tramadol For Pain
Ingredients In Tramadol
Tramadol Hci
Tramadol Saturday Delivery
Cheapest Tramadol
Tramadol Dog
Tramadol Canine
Tramadol Depression
Prescription Tramadol
Tramadol Constipation
Tramadol 37.5
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Side Effects
What Are The Side Effects Of Tramadol
Tramadol Dose For Dogs
Buy Cheap Tramadol Online
Tramadol Hcl Dosage
How Long Does Tramadol Last
Tramadol Overnight Cod
Order Tramadol Cod
Is Tramadol An Nsaid
Tramadol Pregnancy
Tramadol Injection
Tramadol Side Effects In Women
Tramadol Extended Release
Tramadol Drug Class
Tramadol Dosage For Humans
Order Tramadol Online Cod
Tramadol Pictures
Tramadol Contraindications
Where To Buy Tramadol
What Is Tramadol Hcl Used For
Tramadol 200mg
Tramadol For Opiate Withdrawal
Order Tramadol Online Overnight
Tramadol Doses
Tramadol Pills
Tramadol Fedex
Tramadol Itching
Tramadol Buzz
Tramadol C O D Delivery
Half Life Of Tramadol
Tramadol Cost
Tramadol Weight Loss
Canine Tramadol
Tramadol 100 Mg
No Prescription Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Online Without Prescription
Tramadol Withdrawl
Generic For Tramadol
Tramadol 377
Tramadol Buy Online
Tramadol Detox
Tramadol Next Day
Tramadol And Seizures
Tramadol Pill
Tramadol Sale
Tramadol Withdrawal Duration
Can You Smoke Tramadol
Tramadol Hcl 50
Tramadol Apap 37.5mg 325mg
Tramadol Vs Lortab
Tramadol For Migraines
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg High
Tramadol Strengths
Tramadol Nsaid
Order Tramadol No Prescription
Is Tramadol Stronger Than Vicodin
Buy Tramadol Online No Prescription Overnight
Tramadol Canine Dosage
Tramadol No Prescription Overnight
Tramadol For Pets
Street Value Of Tramadol
Tramadol Addiction Treatment
Tramadol 50 Mg Tablets
Tramadol 50mg High
Order Tramadol Overnight
Tramadol Cod Delivery
Tramadol During Pregnancy
Tramadol Without Rx
Tramadol Get You High
What Is Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg
Tramadol Antidepressant
Tramadol Tablets
Ic Tramadol Hcl
Tramadol Anxiety
Tramadol A Narcotic
Tramadol And Adderall
Tramadol Premature Ejaculation
Tramadol Order Online
Medication Tramadol
Dog Tramadol
Tramadol Com
Tramadol And Suboxone
Can You Get High Off Of Tramadol
Tramadol Cats
Tramadol On Line
Low Price Tramadol
Smoking Tramadol
Tramadol Vs Norco
Tramadol Overdose Symptoms
Tramadol Back Pain
Purchase Tramadol Online
Does Tramadol Contain Acetaminophen
Tramadol Hcl Tab 50mg
Tramadol Hcl Uses
Tramadol Hcl For Dogs
Can You Take Ibuprofen With Tramadol
Tramadol Hcl-Acetaminophen
Tramadol Overnight No Prescription
Tramadol Maximum Dose
Is Tramadol An Anti-Inflammatory
Buy Generic Tramadol
Where To Buy Tramadol Online
Is Tramadol An Anti Inflammatory
Does Tramadol Contain Aspirin
Acetaminophen Tramadol 325 37.5
Tramadol Long Term Effects
Tramadol Hcl -Acetaminophen
Tramadol 500mg
Tramadol To Get High
Tramadol Urine Test
Long Term Effects Of Tramadol
Tramadol Euphoria
Side Effect Of Tramadol
How Long Does Tramadol Stay In Urine
Tramadol Hcl 50mg Tab Mylan
Tramadol Liver
Acetaminophen Tramadol 325-37.5
Tramadol Hcl 50mg Tablet
Tramadol Package Insert
How Long Does Tramadol Stay In Your Urine
Buy Discount Tramadol
Tramadol 50mg Dosage
Tramadol Hydrochloride 50mg
Tramadol Over The Counter
Tramadol While Pregnant
Ordering Tramadol Online
Tramadol 50 Mg Street Value
Tramadol Veterinary
Snorting Tramadol 50 Mg
Tramadol Hydrochloride For Dogs
Tramadol Prescribing Information
Does Tramadol Make You Sleepy
Order Tramadol Online No Prescription
Is Tramadol An Opioid
Tramadol For Back Pain
Cheap Tramadol No Prescription
Tramadol Hcl 50mg Side Effects
Is Tramadol 50 Mg A Narcotic
Tramadol 50 Mg Street Price
Tramadol Withdrawal Treatment
Tramadol Is It A Narcotic
Tramadol Hcl Acetaminophen
Tramadol Snort
Cymbalta And Tramadol
Tramadol And Oxycodone
Tramadol Forum
Tramadol 627
Pain Medication Tramadol
Tramadol Vet
Tramadol For Sale Online
Tramadol Getting High
Can I Take Ibuprofen With Tramadol
Tramadol Without A Prescription
Tramadol Order
Drug Tramadol
Gabapentin And Tramadol
Injecting Tramadol
Uses For Tramadol
Tramadol Metabolism
Canine Tramadol Dosage
Tramadol And Flexeril
Medicine Tramadol
Tramadol And Acetaminophen
Buy Online Tramadol
Does Tramadol Have Tylenol In It
Does Tramadol Have Codeine In It
Tramadol Hydrocodone
Tramadol Vs Codeine
Can You Take Tramadol With Ibuprofen
Tramadol Side Effects In Men
Tramadol 37.5mg
Tramadol Compared To Vicodin
Tramadol Information
What Is Tramadol For Dogs
Can I Take Tramadol With Ibuprofen
Tramadol Addiction Withdrawal
Can You Get High From Tramadol
Tramadol 15 Mg
Tramadol Iv
Tramadol Dogs Side Effects
How Many Mg Of Tramadol To Get High
Buy Tramadol Overnight Delivery
Does Tramadol Have Acetaminophen In It
Cheap Tramadol Cod
Does Tramadol Cause Constipation
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Tab
Tramadol Vicodin
Toradol Vs Tramadol
Cheap Tramadol Online No Prescription
An 627 Tramadol
Tramadol Tylenol
Tramadol Potentiation
Tramadol Medicine
Tramadol Generic Ultram
Tramadol Without Prescriptions Overnight
Cheap Tramadol Overnight
Tramadol Liver Damage
Buy Tramadol Online With Mastercard
Tramadol And Breastfeeding
Tramadol Apap 37.5 325mg
Is Tramadol A Opiate
How Long Does It Take For Tramadol To Work
Next Day Tramadol Cod
Is It Legal To Buy Tramadol Online
What Is The Medication Tramadol
Cheap Tramadol Fedex Overnight
Can You Take Tramadol While Pregnant
Tramadol Apap 37.5 Mg
Does Tramadol Show Up In A Drug Test
Tramadol Apap 37.5mg
Tramadol Withdrawal How Long
Tramadol Recreational Dosage
Buy Tramadol Online Cod Overnight
Tramadol And Zoloft
Tramadol And Drug Tests
Tramadol For Premature Ejaculation
Tramadol 50 Mg For Dogs
Tramadol 37.5 Mg
Is Tramadol A Blood Thinner
Tramadol Toxicity
How Long Does Tramadol Withdrawal Last
Tramadol Dog Dosage
Hydrocodone Vs Tramadol
Tramadol 50mg Street Value
What Is Tramadol Hcl 50mg
Vicodin Vs Tramadol
Tramadol Dosage Dogs
Online Tramadol Pharmacy
Tramadol Sexual Side Effects
Tramadol For Canines
Vicodin And Tramadol
Tramadol Blood Pressure
Tramadol Canada
Cheapest Tramadol Online
Cost Of Tramadol
Tramadol In Pregnancy
Tramadol And Prozac
Tramadol Mexico
Tramadol 93 58
What Is Tramadol Prescribed For
Tramadol Ultracet
Tramadol Purchase
Tramadol Addictive
Tramadol Serotonin Syndrome
Tramadol Pain
Tramadol For Arthritis
Tramadol Manufacturer
Generic Tramadol Online
Withdrawal Symptoms Of Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Without A Prescription
Where Can I Buy Tramadol
Tramadol Dependence
Tramadol Seizure
Tramadol And Cymbalta
Pictures Of Tramadol
Serotonin Syndrome Tramadol
Getting High On Tramadol
Tramadol Alternatives
Can You Buy Tramadol Online
Tramadol Dog Side Effects
Tramadol 50 Mg Dosage
Side Effects Of Tramadol Hcl
Tramadol And Lexapro
Tramadol Otc
Tramadol Breastfeeding
Tramadol Online Pharmacy No Prescription
Tramadol And Ambien
Adderall And Tramadol
Tramadol No Rx
Tramadol Addiction Symptoms
Tramadol Rx
What Is Tramadol Made Of
Tramadol Ssri
Tramadol And Percocet
Tramadol Urine Drug Test
Tramadol Er 100mg
Long Term Use Of Tramadol
Tramadol Lawsuit
How Does Tramadol Make You Feel
Tramadol Prescription Online
Order Tramadol Online No Prescription Overnight
Can You Sniff Tramadol
Buy Tramadol With Mastercard
Does Tramadol Have Asprin In It
Is Tramadol A Nsaid
Tramadol Hcl High
Online Tramadol No Prescription
Generic Name For Tramadol
What Is The Medicine Tramadol
Tramadol Use In Dogs
Tramadol Overdose Amount
Tramadol 300 Mg
Tramadol Online No Prescription Cod
Tramadol Hcl Er
Tramadol Generic Name
Is Tramadol Like Vicodin
Tramadol And Ibuprofen Together
Tramadol Withdrawal Time
Tramadol For Sale No Prescription
Tramadol 10mg
Tramadol No Prescription Needed
Tramadol Withdrawals
Tramadol Ibuprofen
Tramadol Non Narcotic
Tramadol No Prescription Overnight Delivery
Tramadol 325 Mg
Can You Inject Tramadol
Tramadol 50mg Picture
How Much Tramadol Can I Take
Tramadol 25mg
Can You Overdose On Tramadol
Tramadol Long Term Use
Overnight Tramadol Cod
Tramadol Vs Ultram
Tramadol And Weed
Side Effects Of Tramadol 50mg
Tramadol And Weight Loss
Tramadol Hydrochloride High
Tramadol Withdrawal Symptoms Duration
Tramadol Non-Narcotic
Ambien And Tramadol
Tramadol Active Ingredients
Tramadol Street Price
Is Tramadol A Controlled Substance In Florida
Tramadol For Fibromyalgia
Cod Tramadol Overnight
How Much Tramadol Can I Give My Dog
Tramadol Brand Name
Health Solutions Tramadol
Cyclobenzaprine And Tramadol
Whats Tramadol
High On Tramadol
Tramadol Snorting
Tramadol And Dogs
Buy Tramadol Cheap
Tramadol Side Effect
Painkiller Tramadol
Iv Tramadol
Tramadol Prices
Tramadol Reactions
Is Tramadol Addicting
Dosage Of Tramadol
Tramadol Allergy
An627 Tramadol
Hcl Tramadol
Tramadol Pain Killer
Tramadol And Methadone
Veterinary Tramadol
Tramadolbargain
Overdose On Tramadol
Can Tramadol Cause Seizures
Cheap Tramadol Without Prescription
Tramadol 20online
Tramadol Maximum Dog
Effexor And Tramadol
Tramadol Compared To Hydrocodone
Tramadol 100
100 Mg Tramadol
Tramadol For Dog
Picture Of Tramadol
Tramadol For Sleep
Tramadol Kidney
Buying Tramadol
Tramadol Suicide
Tramadol And Celexa
Tramadol Xr
How Long Does Tramadol Take To Work
Buy Generic Tramadol Online
Tramadol Versus Vicodin
Tramadol Withdrawal Help
Tramadol Abuse Potential
How To Get Tramadol
Tramadol Rxlist
Generic Tramadol No Prescription
Tramadol Buy No Prescription
Tramadol Before Surgery
Tramadol 325-37.5
Tramadol Opiate Agonists
Tramadol As An Antidepressant
Tramadol High Blood Pressure
Tramadol Shelf Life
Tramadol Opioid
Canadian Pharmacy Tramadol
Can U Get High Off Tramadol
How Long Does It Take Tramadol To Work
Tramadol Online No Prescription Overnight Delivery
Tramadol And Grapefruit Juice
Taking Tramadol While Pregnant
Tramadol Shot
Tramadol Apap Side Effects
Tramadol Lethal Dose
Tramadol Codeine
Tramadol Kidney Damage
Tramadol With Acetaminophen
Tramadol Vs Toradol
Tramadol Capsules
Buy Tramadol Overnight Cod
How Long Does It Take For Tramadol To Get Out Of Your System
What Is Tramadol Used For In Dogs
Tramadol Dogs Dosage
Tramadol And Constipation
How Long Does Tramadol Take To Kick In
Can You Take Tramadol With Vicodin
Tramadol Usage
How Much Tramadol Is Too Much
Tramadol Dosage Humans
Can I Take Tylenol With Tramadol
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Narcotic
Tramadol For Humans
Tramadol For Tooth Pain
Tramadol And Gabapentin
Tramadol Dosage To Get High
Tramadol Canine Side Effects
Zoloft And Tramadol
Can I Snort Tramadol
Plugging Tramadol
Tramadol Dosage For Cats
Tramadol Weight Gain
Addiction To Tramadol
Will Tramadol Show Up In A Drug Test
Tramadol Generic Names
What Class Of Drug Is Tramadol
Is Tramadol An Opiate Drug
Tramadol Side Effects For Dogs
Tramadol Taper Schedule
Health Solutions Network Tramadol
What Is Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Used For
Tramadol Withdrawal Timeline
Tramadol Images
Can You Shoot Up Tramadol
Tramadol An Opiate
Tramadol Grapefruit
Tramadol Urine Drug Screen
Tramadol Pregnancy Category
Tramadol Rash
Buy Tramadol Online Cheap
Tramadol Max Dose
Tramadol 50mg For Dogs Side Effects
Side Effects Of Tramadol 50 Mg
Oxycodone Vs Tramadol
Tramadol Toothache
Tramadol News
Does Tramadol Contain Codeine
Mixing Tramadol And Hydrocodone
Tramadol And Depression
Can You Take Tramadol With Suboxone
Tramadol Blood Thinner
What Class Is Tramadol
Tramadol Overnight Mastercard
Lexapro And Tramadol
Is Tramadol A Muscle Relaxer
Can You Shoot Tramadol
How Long Does It Take For Tramadol To Kick In
Maximum Dose Of Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Online Without Prescriptions
Tramadol Side Effects Itching
Tramadol High Dosage
Tramadol Dosage For Adults
Will Tramadol Test Positive For Opiates
Can You Take Tylenol With Tramadol
Tramadol High Effects
Ultram Vs Tramadol
Tramadol Buy Cod
Tramadol And Aspirin
Online Order Tramadol
Rx Tramadol
Tramadol Tablet
Tramadol Online Cheap
Tramadol Sr
Addicted To Tramadol
Buy Tramadol On Line
Tramadol Morphine
Long Term Tramadol Use
Tramadol Hci 50 Mg
Tramadol Side Effects Women
Mixing Tramadol And Vicodin
Buy Tramadol Cod Overnight
Andrew Heath Tramadol
Tramadol Cod Online
Expired Tramadol
Is Tramadol Narcotic
Buy Cheap Tramadol On
Buy Cheap Tramadol Buy
Tramadol Side Affects
Tramadol Drug Testing
Tramadol Indications
Tramadol And Ssri
Tramadol Experiences
50 Hcl Mg Tramadol
Tramadol Or Vicodin
Tramadol Controlled
Tramadol Erowid Experience
Tramadol And Klonopin
Tramadol Shipped To Florida
Tramadol Cod Overnight Delivery
Tramadolhcl
Side Effects Of Tramadol For Dogs
Can Tramadol Be Snorted
How To Wean Off Tramadol
How Long Does It Take To Get Tramadol Out Of Your System
Best Price Tramadol
Celexa And Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Cheap Online
Tramadol And Vicodin Together
Tramadol Cod Next Day
Tramadol On Drug Test
Buy Cheap Tramadol Online No Prescription
Tramadol Apap 37.5 325 Mg
Non Prescription Tramadol
Tramadol Dose For Humans
Tramadol Gabapentin
Can You Take Tramadol With Tylenol
Buy Tramadol Online No Prescription Cod
Tramadol Schedule 2
What Is Tramadol Hcl 50mg Used For
Buy Tramadol Without Prescriptions
How To Get Off Tramadol
Tramadol 20mg
Tramadol Drug Screen
Can U Get High On Tramadol
No Prescription Tramadol Online
Tramadol And Advil
Tramadol Overdose Treatment
Tramadol Narcotic Class
Side Effects For Tramadol
Order Tramadol Online Cod Overnight
Tramadol Gabapentin
Nucynta Vs Tramadol
Buy Ultram Tramadol
Tramadol Veterinary Use
Tramadol 100mg Online
Buy Tramadol Online No Prescription Cheap
How Long Does It Take For Tramadol To Leave Your System
What Schedule Drug Is Tramadol
Tramadol Wikipedia
Troy Pharmacy Tramadol
Tramadol Opiate Withdrawal
Best Way To Take Tramadol
Tramadol Overnight Cod Delivery
Can You Snort Tramadol 50mg
Tramadol Like Vicodin
Tramadol And Effexor
Tramadol 100 Mg High
Tramadol Schedule Drug
Tramadol Kidney Stones
How Much Tramadol To Overdose
Tramadol And Weight Gain
Tramadol Max Dosage
Can You Snort Tramadol 50 Mg
Tramadol T7
Tramadol Potentiators
Benefits Of Tramadol
Taking Tramadol
Where Can I Buy Tramadol Online
Tramadol 200mg Er
Allergic Reaction To Tramadol
How Much Does Tramadol Cost
Tramadol Fedex Overnight
Tramadol And Hydrocodone Together
Tramadol Cream
Do You Need A Prescription For Tramadol
Can Humans Take Tramadol
Tramadol Buy Online No Prescription
Tramadol And Coumadin
Tramadol Dea Schedule
Tramadol Legal Status
Tramadol 60 Mg
Side Effects From Tramadol
Buy Tramadol For Dogs
Tramadol Pharmacology
Tramadol Apap 37.5
Tramadol Restless Leg Syndrome
Shooting Tramadol
How To Buy Tramadol Online
Rxlist Tramadol
Tramadol Pain Medicine
Tramadol 100mg Er
Tramadol And Wellbutrin
Tramadol Online Pharmacy No Prescription Needed
Does Tramadol Show Up On A Drug Test 2012
How To Get High On Tramadol
How Long Is Tramadol In Your System
Que Es Tramadol
Tramadol 75 Mg
Tramadol Next Day Delivery
Is Tramadol Safe During Pregnancy
What Is Tramadol Used For In Humans
Tramadol And Benadryl
Tramadol Overnight Fedex
Tramadol Ketorolaco
Tramadol Pill Id
Tramadol No Prescription Cod
Can I Take Tramadol With Tylenol
Other Names For Tramadol
Tramadol Fibromyalgia
Tramadol Recommended Dosage
Purchase Tramadol No Prescription
Tramadol 083
What Is Tramadol 50mg Used For
What Does Tramadol Feel Like
Does Tramadol Cause Weight Gain
Define Tramadol
Long Term Side Effects Of Tramadol
Will Tramadol Show Up On A Urine Drug Test
Can You Legally Buy Tramadol Online
Buy Tramadol Hcl
What Does Tramadol Show Up As On A Drug Test
Tramadol Ultram Side Effects
Tramadol 50mg Dosage For Dogs
Can You Take Tramadol With Hydrocodone
Tramadol Controlled Substance Schedule
Tramadol Er 200 Mg
Does Tramadol Have Codeine
Get High On Tramadol
Tramadol Arthritis
Tramadol And Blood Pressure
Tramadol And Soma
Cod Overnight Tramadol
Pill Tramadol
Tramadol And Cyclobenzaprine
Tramadol Adderall
Tramadol Dea
Tramadol Sex
Tramadol Identification
Tramadol 90
Methadone And Tramadol
Withdrawals From Tramadol
Tramadol Expiration
Tramadol 89
Tramadol Info
Tramadol 650
Tramadol For Pe
Fedex Tramadol
Tramadol Time Released
Order Tramadol Without Prescription
Doses Of Tramadol
Tramadol Hci 50mg
Tramadol And Marijuana
Tramadol Gout
Tramadol Taper
Will Tramadol Show On Drug Test
Get Tramadol
Ultram Tramadol Hcl
180 Tramadol Cheap
Tramadol Purchase Online
Tramadol Withdraw
Cheapest Tramadol Available Online
Very Cheap Tramadol
Tramadol Online Si
Lowest Price Tramadol
Saturday Delivery Tramadol
Drug Test Tramadol
Ordering Tramadol
Free Tramadol
Tramadol Forums
Tramadol Doseage
180 Tramadol
Tramadol Use
What Is The Drug Tramadol
Purchase Tramadol Without Prescription
Tramadol Hc
Extended Release Tramadol
Price Of Tramadol
Crushing Tramadol
Tramadol Acetaminophen 37.5
Street Value Of Tramadol 50mg
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Tablets
Tramadol Aspirin
Dosage Of Tramadol For Dogs
Tramadol For Menstrual Cramps
Tramadol Dosage In Dogs
Symptoms Of Tramadol Withdrawal
Tramadol Seizure Risk
Tramadol Dose To Get High
Discount Tramadol Online
Tramadol Controlled Substance Illinois
What Is The Street Value Of Tramadol
Tramadol Us Pharmacy
Tramadol Recreational Dose Bluelight
Tramadol Hydrochloride Side Effects
Tramadol And Zoloft Together
Is Tramadol Hcl A Narcotic
Symptoms Of Tramadol Overdose
Recreational Use Of Tramadol
Cheap Online Tramadol
Meloxicam And Tramadol
Tramadol Dosage Cats
Buy Generic Tramadol No Prescription
Tramadol Online Mastercard
Tramadol Gluten Free
Tramadol Pharmacy Online
Tramadol And Vicodin Mix
Will Tramadol Get Me High
Tramadol Addiction Signs
Pain Reliever Tramadol
Tramadol Overnight Delivery Cod
Tramadol Cash On Delivery
Buy Tramadol 50mg
Tramadol 50 Mg Tab
Tramadol Ingredients 50 Mg
Can You Get High Off Tramadol 50mg
Tramadol Codeine Allergy
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Dosage
Tramadol Hcl Dogs
Can I Take My Dogs Tramadol
Tramadol No Prescription Overnight Shipping
Smoking Tramadol On Foil
Tramadol Xl
What Does Tramadol Do To You
Online Tramadol Cod
Tramadol Hcl 50mg Tablets
Does Tramadol Test Positive For Opiates
Tramadol 180 Tabs
50 Mg Tramadol High
319 Tramadol
Canine Tramadol Side Effects
Buy Tramadol Without Rx
Buy Tramadol Overnight Delivery No Prescription
Buy Tramadol 100mg
Tramadol Pill Identification
Tramadol Ultram 50mg
Tramadol Keeps Me Awake
Is Tramadol Habit Forming
Tramadol Street Value 50 Mg
Side Effects Tramadol Oral
What Does Tramadol Have In It
Para Que Sirve El Tramadol
Can You Take Tramadol And Hydrocodone Together
Tramadol 650 Mg
100mg Tramadol High
Tramadol And Codeine Allergy
Does Tramadol Show Up On Drug Tests
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg Street Value
Buying Tramadol Online No Prescription
Cymbalta And Tramadol Interaction
Tramadol Klonopin Interaction
Does Tramadol Show Up In A Urine Test
Tramadol Withdrawal Relief
Meloxicam Vs Tramadol
Tramadol For Depression And Anxiety
Tramadol Yahoo Answers
Tramadol Pdr
Tramadol Long Term Side Effects
Tramadol Percocet
Tramadol Apap 37.5mg 325mg Side Effects
What Is The Medication Tramadol Used For
Tramadol Free Shipping
Tramadol Contains
Can You Take Tramadol And Vicodin Together
Another Name For Tramadol
Buy Tramadol 50 Mg
Tramadol Chemical Structure
Can Tramadol Be Taken With Ibuprofen
Ultracet Vs Tramadol
Tramadol Vs Hydrocodone High
Tramadol Suboxone
Tramadol And Tylenol Together
Tramadol Zydus
Tramadol Ld50
Percocet Vs Tramadol
Tramadol Sales
Tramadol Cod Fedex
Tramadol Dose For Cats
Tramadol And Alcohol Side Effects
Cheapest Tramadol Online No Prescription Needed
Tramadol Urinalysis
Tramadol And Aleve
Tramadol For Dogs Dosage Chart
Tramadol Overdose Side Effects
Tramadol Jaundice
Tramadol Hydrochloride Tablets
Tramadol 200mg Online
Tramadol Next Day Fedex
How To Stop Taking Tramadol
Tramadol And High Blood Pressure
Tramadol Maximum Daily Dose
Max Dose Of Tramadol
How Many 50mg Tramadol To Get High
Tramadol 100mg High
Buy Tramadol Free Shipping
Tramadol 800mg
Tramadol Long Term
Tramadol Looks Like
Tramadol Hangover
Tramadol Recall
Tramadol Joint Pain
Buy Tramadol Now
Buy Tramadol 180
Tramadol Zoloft Interaction
Tramadol Hcl 50 Mg For Dogs
Can Tramadol Kill You
Tramadol Cheap No Prescription
Tramadol 99.95
Tramadol Gives Me Energy
Can I Take Tramadol With Vicodin
Tramadol Kidney Disease
Tramadol Online Rx
Tramadol And Vicodin Taken Together
Will Tramadol Make You Fail A Drug Test
Tramadol Online Overnight No Prescription
Cheap Tramadol Overnight No Prescription
Tramadol Cod Delivery Next Day
Is There Acetaminophen In Tramadol
Buy Tramadol Online No Prescription Next Day Delivery
Buy Tramadol Saturday Delivery
Tramadol Warnings
Tramadol Without Rx Overnight
Shop Tramadol
Cheap Tramadol Without Prescriptions
Tramadol For Pain Relief
Tramadol No Script
Order Tramadol Cod Overnight Delivery
What Is The Half Life Of Tramadol
Acetaminophen And Tramadol
Tramadol Coupon
Tramadol Dangers
Tramadol Schedule Dea
Tramadol And Motrin
How Many Tramadol To Overdose
Tramadol For Dogs Safe For Humans
Mixing Tramadol And Oxycodone
Tramadol Dose Dogs
Prozac And Tramadol
Tramadol And Flexeril Together
Tramadol As Antidepressant
Is Tramadol A Controlled Substance 2012
Tramadol 37.5 Dosage
Getting High Off Tramadol
Cheap Overnight Tramadol
Tramadol Hydrochloride 50 Mg High
Tapentadol Vs Tramadol
  • Archive of "changes" Category

    Wondering what is next

    December 9, 2009 // 1 Comment »

    Posted in blogs, changes

    I spend a lot of time thinking the phrase “I should blog about this”.

    I should blog about my extended family’s Thanksgiving and how I’m not sure where I fit into everything. Or rather, how I’m not sure how I fit into the extended Bio-Fam or the extended Adopted-Fam, but at least I know where I fit in with my in-laws.

    I should blog about church planting and how it is much harder than I thought it would be and much easier than I thought it would be (but for different reasons).

    I should blog about the attempts to make Christmas at our house, now that Brian and I are finally on our own. I should blog about the important lessons I learned by not giving scathing commentary on Brian’s Christmas preferences during our Black Friday shopping excursion.

    Oh, and I should blog about why I decided to venture out on Black Friday (for the first time ever as a consumer).

    I should do a lot of blogging.

    But I’m out of the habit. Moving into our home through off my routines. Getting sick obliterated what was left of those routines. Usually it is insanely difficult for me to break any habit but in this case, it slipped away very quickly.

    So maybe I’m changing directions with where I’m taking this blog. Maybe it will be permanent, maybe just a passing transition. Because I do miss it, but I’m overwhelmed and scattered and I feel like I can make no promises at the moment of what my content will be in the future. I don’t want to create expectations that I cannot meet.

    How to name a cat

    September 21, 2009 // 5 Comments »

    Posted in adoption, changes, home life

    Over lunch at Panera a few weeks ago, my husband started questioning my ideal cat names. Usually, this is a topic he avoids like the plague because it ultimately ends with my relentless questioning of his ideal baby names but somehow, we plod through it without mocking each other too much.
    I like names with character, names that are quirky. I think a name shapes a creature’s identity – a generic name would therefore lead to a life with a generic creature. I lean towards names like Roark (from Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead) or Mercutio or Puck. I like names that make my well read friends smile and my other friends say “what an unusual name!” One of my suggestions with Pierpont, as in J. Pierpont Finch from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (one of my favorite musicals ever) but that was met with an embarrassing snort bursting out of my husband’s face so clearly, Pierpont was off the list.

    Naming a pet is a bizarre process. I guess it might be a little easier if you buy a kitty from a pet store or a breeder but Brian and I love the animal rescue route. Which means the newest addition to your family was recently the newest temporary addition to someone else’s family and that foster family has given your precious kitty a name.

    My parents recently adopted a kitten from the SPCA who had named the kitten “Fang”. Fang. As in “I’m a vampire and I have a Fang”. Weird. “Fang” was quickly changed to “Alex” but then there were questions about “Alex” so it became “Sir Alex Meowsalot”. Ultimately, it was decided that the whole naming process was just too hasty and after much thought and deliberation Fang/Alex/Sir Alex Meowsalot became Pippin and then normally patient vet realized that my parents were nuts as they kept calling to change the name for the appointment.

    The name you chose for your kitten says a lot about you as a person. Are you a crazy cat lady who names her kitten names like “Whiskers” or “Paws” or “Tiger”? Are you the person who is trying to meet your human needs with a cat so you name the cat something like “Pete” or “Sally” or “Ralph”? Maybe you are the sarcastic teenager who thinks it is very funny to name the cat “Cat” but in another language (FYI: Kissa is Finnish for cat). Ultimately, our cat name would reveal more about our hidden quirks and tendencies than the contents of our medicine cabinet.

    After our lunch, we made our way over to pet store to see who was up for adoption on a Sunday afternoon. In the car, my husband started telling me a secret trip he made the day before to the pet store where he saw a black behemoth of a kitten. The kind of kitten that you look at and realize that you’ll need to feed it a small dog each morning for breakfast because kitten food is just not going to cut it. The kind of kitten that is one part adorable and one part panther escaped from the wild. Of course, my husband instantly loved this cat until he saw the name on the cage. “Twilight”. Like “I’m in love with a sparkly vampire”.

    This was not the small dog eating kitty my husband dreamt of owning. Somewhere out there, a teenage girl desperately wanted a black cat named Twilight.

    As always, we kept our expectations low. Or my husband did. I was too busy falling in love with a black four month old kitten named Oliver.

    I just pretend I’m not a lunatic

    June 23, 2009 // 1 Comment »

    Posted in changes, Home Buying, home life, marriage

    In an older home, I expect there to be bugs. I’m not talking about a complete infestation but I try to remember that over time, things settle and cracks form and bugs find their way in. But that’s okay because for the most part they don’t harm anyone and it is good motivation to keep a clean home because it will keep the bugs away for the most part.

    They won’t stay if they cannot find food.

    Since we bought a home built over 90 years ago, I thought I’d be well prepared for what was to come. Every time Brian ripped out a piece of baseboard to replace it, I expected to see bugs scurrying away. But there were none.

    Never saw a single insect.

    I expected to find bugs in the basement. I expect to find nasty yucky creatures behind the oil tank when it was replaced. Once again, nothing.

    I was lucky. I was happy. Despite the volume of work my home required, I did not have bugs. This was the good life and this was my dream home.

    So we moved in and on our first night in our new home I’m about to climb into bed with my dear sweet husband who provided me with this glorious house. And then I notice something on the floor and I go to pick it up and throw it out. It is dark in color and about an inch long.

    It moves. And I fight the urge to scream my head off because we have friends staying with us and I don’t want them to think I’m a dirty person who lives in a bug infested house.

    Instead I leap on top of the bed with the force and speed of an Olympic athlete, grab a hold of a very confused Brian and whisper frantically “it’s a bug, BRIAN, it’s a bug”.

    Brian calmly gets out of bed and beats the insect with his sock until it scurries out of the room and through a crack in the wall in the hallway while I do the full body shudder like a small baby with a developing nervous system.

    Then panic sets in. Because the truth of the matter is that I can expect to find bugs in my home but that doesn’t change the fact that I am terrified of bugs.

    Suddenly my mind is racing and my mouth is struggling to keep up with the words spewing forth. “It must a cockroach. It has to be a cockroach. Of course we didn’t have any little bugs, the cockroach was eating the little bugs for survival. But I learned in my food and safety class that there is never just one…”

    “I don’t think it was a cockroach” Brian attempts to interject.

    “…cockroach. There are always multiple cockroaches. Multiple. Brian, I think our walls are filled with cockroaches and now we live in squalor. Do you think your dad will let us move back in with him?”

    “I really don’t think it was a cockroach…”

    “We’re now the dirty people, Brian. We’re living in my dream house and it’s filled with cockroaches and bugs and WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? We don’t have money for an exterminator! We just bought a house! What were we thinking?!?!”

    “I’ll lay some traps tomorrow. I don’t think it was a cockroach. It’s going to be fine.”

    “I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation.”

    “I’m going to bed now.”

    Moral of the story: Don’t have house guests the first night you sleep in your new place. You can’t scream your head off like the lunatic you actually are when a giant insect tries to escape your insanity.

    Specter: The Dems Can Have Him

    April 29, 2009 // 5 Comments »

    Posted in changes, politics

    I’m not a fan of Arlen Specter. He’s out of touch. He ignores his constituents. He sends the wrong form letters. He cares more about his corporate campaign contributors than the people who voted for him. He is unable to answer any questions about what he is doing to help his Gen Y constituents.

    I wasn’t one of them. He is my arch nemesis after all.

    Still, I was thrilled that he jumped the Republican Party ship yesterday. Good. Good riddance to bad rubbish. The Democrats can have him. (Please note: I am a registered Libertarian but there is a small part of me that hopes and dreams that one day, the Republican Party could return to what it really stands for and then we could have a three party system.)

    The only way this could possibly be better is if he didn’t get reelected.

    What Specter is doing now is a last ditch effort to stay in office. Pat Toomey is going to get that Republican nomination in the primary. Because no self respecting Republican would have voted for Specter. And after thirty years in the Senate, Specter had to have known the fat lady was singing his song.

    This had nothing to do with your best interests. That’s right. Nothing to do with you. You might his constituent. You might need your senator’s help. He does not care. This had everything to do with him desperately clinging to his political life as a feeble, 79 year old man.

    If I was the Democratic Party, I would turn him away. I would be raising questions about his ability to make strong, effective decisions in the Senate. I would be wondering if he would be able to understand the world around him and the long term impact of his decisions on others. I would be asking his doctor for proof that dementia isn’t setting in.

    But here’s the important part: Whether you are a Democrat, a Republican, a Libertarian or an Independent, you don’t have to vote for him.

    Just because he’s been around for a while does not mean that you have to participate in his ineffective politics any longer. Just because he has been in the Senate for 29 years does not mean that he has wisdom and insight. Just because he kept getting reelected before doesn’t mean you have to continue to vote for him now.

    The message Senator Specter needs to hear from us, from his constituents, is that we will continue to hold him to standards. We will continue to have expectations of what his performance should look like. We will hold him accountable for his actions. Changing parties will not liberate him from accountability.

    If anything, he needs to be held to a higher, more consistent standard. If anything, he needs to know that if he fails us, if he fails the voters, we will fire him. We will vote for Pat Toomey, not only in a primary but in the general election. We will seriously consider 3rd party candidates. We will no longer take what he says at face value. We will ask him tough questions and we will expect him to have honest answers.

    And at night, I dream we’ll elect politicians who haven’t penned garbage like the Magic Bullet Theory.

    10 weeks later: I cry

    April 27, 2009 // 4 Comments »

    Posted in challenges, changes, family life

    My grandfather once tried to teach me not to cry.

    “Doie”, using his childhood nickname for me, “when you are dead and gone, you are just that. Dead and gone. Crying won’t bring you back so don’t cry when I’m gone.”

    Of course, I cried when he was gone. And he was right. Crying did not raise him from the dead, nor did it further cement him in my mind.

    All crying did was make my eyes burn until I was all cried out. Or maybe I was just so dehydrated, my body found it to be physically impossible to cry any more.

    Either way, I didn’t really cry for six weeks even though I needed to cry. Sometimes a single sob would escape my mouth but I could not sustain it. There were no more tears to give.

    I couldn’t cry if my life depended on it. I wanted to cry, I just couldn’t remember how to do it.

    I didn’t cry when I read his obituary in the local newspaper and saw my name on the list of his survivors. And I didn’t feel like I was surviving.

    I didn’t cry when my fingers touched the laminated prayer card I kept in my purse that my mother gave me before the memorial service.

    I didn’t cry when we divided his belongings amongst us, looking like vultures but feeling like the desperate who needed to cling to a memory.

    Instead, I finally cried in a mall food court like a raving lunatic on a beautiful , sunny Saturday afternoon. I cried so hard, I freaked out a little boy in a Little League uniform at the table next to me. He, in turn, burst into tears and spilled his chocolate milk all over himself.

    No one else seemed to notice. No one else seemed to care.

    He still didn’t come back even though my mouth tasted like a peculiar form of grief I had not discovered earlier.

    Time had moved forward as time often does. While physically, I moved forward, emotionally, I stopped on February 19th. Since then, I merely went through the motions. It was all just make believe.

    Sitting in a consumer wasteland, the truth of the matter was realized.

    I am so over my commute

    April 17, 2009 // 2 Comments »

    Posted in changes, money, priorities, work life

    It wasn’t so bad when I first started this job. I was still living at home with my parents and my office was only 10 miles from home. Actually, it was a nice little ride to the office. I could rock out in the car to Say Anything or clear my mind and do some much needed thinking.

    I even planned most of my wedding during my commute home, catching up with vendors that I could not reach during the day.

    But then I moved in with my husband. Which was great because living with your spouse is always better than not living with your spouse. Until I realized I was now 16 miles from work. And 16 miles from work actually meant that I had a 45 to 60 minute commute to work.

    This meant that I was spending as much as 10 hours of my life each week getting to and from work.

    Now that we’ve moved to Bristol, I’m twenty miles from work. And now I spend more like 12 hours a week in the car commuting.

    Even writing about the commute makes my stress level go up. It gives me an overwhelming urge to only use run-on sentences, minimal punctuation but with additional exclamation points and a need to scream my head off and give someone the bird.

    Maybe driving isn’t as relaxing as it used to be.

    Commuting was kind of fun when I first started. In a weird way, it made me feel more like an adult. Sort of like it did when I paid the first health insurance bill. Except now, I’m very grateful for health insurance whereas I’m not so sure I’m grateful for my commute.

    When I get home from work at night, I like to walk around the Boro and fantasize about a life without a commute to work. At first that looked like me being a stay at home wife while Brian went out and obtained lots of Benjamin’s for us but then after a while, I started to imagine him in a suit and tie with briefcase in hand and that sort of destroyed everything I love about my husband. Now I fantasize about waking up and either walking or biking to work. I imagine going out my back door, getting my bike and heading down Spring Street to a job that does not have business casual as a description in its dress code.

    I have small town dreams these days.

    Jumping in without Swimmies

    March 13, 2009 // 4 Comments »

    Posted in blogs, changes, choices, community

    I think I was possessed on Sunday morning. I was chatting with Kathrin Ivanovic at The Well and for some reason, I burst out with “I think I’m ready to come back from my blogging break”.

    Really? Really, Dorie? After two and a half weeks of a break, you’re ready to come back?

    I must be possessed. Because I’m really not sure that I am ready. But I’m also not sure I’ll ever be completely ready. I still don’t know what the changes in my life mean for me or for my family.

    Now the question has become “Is not blogging still helping me figure things out and process this change?” Not so much.

    If anything it is just throwing me off.

    After my declaration to Kathrin, I panicked. Performance anxiety? Maybe. Maybe I had been secretly hoping for some big, profound return where I would write something that was earth shatteringly brilliant and then I could pat myself on the back for returning. But earth shatteringly brilliant ideas don’t come to me while I am on staycation and watching way too much DIY network.

    Earth shatteringly brilliant ideas come when I’m interacting, when I’m communicating, when I live somewhere outside of my own head. Those ideas happen in the midst of community.

    I spent a week on staycation and now I’m starting to get back into the swing of things. I’m trying to be a person again. My staycation didn’t quite go as planned. When I scheduled it, my plan was to have a one woman writing boot camp – I was going to flesh out the ideas on my personal post to do list and see where it takes me. I was going to be totally blissed out and learning and growing as a writer.

    Instead, I grieved. The extent of my writing was a much needed gratitude list. I took long baths. I listened to Patsy Cline. I baked favorite treats. I hid. I turned off the outside world (okay, I was still on twitter but the burst of 140 characters was not taxing). And while it was very good and very needed to do those things, I missed community by the end of it. I felt disconnected.

    It turned into a battle to not blog but when I verbally announced my return, I freaked out. Was I even ready for this? If someone left a negative comment for me, would I be able to take it in stride or would I turn to the comfort of homemade baked goods? If no one left a comment for me, would I take it as a personal rejection? Was I even in a place where I could be vulnerable and open again?

    So on Monday, I started looking at all of the blogging I missed. I caught up on a few favorites like a little kid sticking one big toe in the deep end of the pool, fearful but knowing I really wanted to be in the water. On Tuesday, I let my feet dangle in the water by responding to a few emails. On Wednesday and Thursday, I started commenting again, holding on to brief interaction with others like an inner tube. And today, I’m in the water. I’m kicking. I’m keeping my head up. I am not drowning.

    It’s a little scary coming back but soon my hair will be green like an over chlorinated kid on the last day of summer.

    Define Family

    February 26, 2009 // 2 Comments »

    Posted in adoption, changes, family life, marriage, relationships

    For the last few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about blended families. I grew up in a blended family. My father is not my bio father. My mother is my biological mother. I was raised by my grandparents. And then I was raised by my mom and dad but not bio dad. And then I was adopted.

    It gets confusing.

    But I’m not the only one in this situation.

    I would tell you that the face of a typical American family is changing but the truth of the matter is the face of the typical American family has not existed for years. I hope I am not telling you anything you had not heard or experienced before.

    As the composition of families change, many of us are going to have to reevaluate our definitions of families. Does a family consist solely of a husband, a wife and at least one child? How do adopted children fit into our ideas of family? Can step parents be included in our definition of family while excluding bio parents? Can grandparents realistically double as parents? Is there really such a thing as immediate family versus extended family? Can a couple constitute a family unit? Does gender or sexual orientation matter when we talk about family structure?

    As we struggle to answer these questions within the context of our own lives, we will also find that many companies will have to do the same thing. But, the upside is that as Gen X and Gen Y rise through the ranks of their organizations, their home life experience will have a large impact on how these definitions are shaped. We grew up in a world where these questions had to be asked. And while our Baby Boomer friends may have created that world, they never had to face the repercussions.

    And really, that benefits all of us.

    Passing On: my introduction to death and dying

    February 19, 2009 // 5 Comments »

    Posted in changes, faith, family life, love

    Dorie and Gampy
    Dorie and Gampy

    If you’ve been following along here for a while, you may have noticed that my grandfather has not been doing well. It’s been breaking my heart to see him suffer.

    As a loved one, it feels next to impossible to make difficult decisions during the end of life. Sometimes honoring their wishes means making insanely painful decisions. Sometimes it means watching and feeling helpless.
    After five years of struggle, my grandfather let go this morning and passed. I’m filled with a strange mixture of grief and relief. While I am so grateful that his suffering is over, I realize that I am now starting the next phase of my life and I do not have his wisdom next to me to directly guide me through this.
    I am so very, very grateful to have had 26 good years with my grandfather. He was more than a grandfather to me: he was my best friend, my mentor, my teacher. Grandfather became a term that was severely inadequate to describe all that he was in my life. At some point over the years, “Grandpa” was shortened to “Gampy” and that name somehow seems most fitting.
    I am grateful for a grandfather who helped me when I was small with my homework. He encouraged my curiousity about the world around me. He humored my experiments in making peanut butter in a blender when we ran out of Skippy (we never did perfect that recipe).  He took me bike riding at Core Creek Park after Summer Theatre in the afternoons. He never just told me “no” or “because I said so” – he explored the why with me and encouraged me to ask tough questions of my surroundings. I will always look back with fond memories of times when he taught me about physics while also teaching me about world history (he was a pilot in the Civil Air Patrol so it works better than most people realize). He taught me about the importance of being mindful of current events while always remembering the past (by the way, he was not a fan of the current economic stimulus plan). He gave me his car when I graduated from college to give me a head start in my adult life.
    My Gampy taught me about how to give and receive unconditional love. He instilled a strong Protestant work ethic in me. He gave me a dry sense of humor (not very useful in a small child but I wouldn’t trade it for anything now). He made Patsy Cline, Glenn Miller and Ella Fitzgerald into the sweetest lullabies. He offered forgiveness freely and unwavering faith in my abilities and place in the world.
    I was blessed to spend a quiet, undisturbed hour with him last night that I will always cherish. I know when he slipped away, it was peaceful and quiet. It was with dignity. It was with grace. While I ache now, I am grateful that in the end his wishes were honored.
    I
    ‘ll be taking a little break from blogging. I’m not quite sure how long it will be. I need to take some time to be quiet with my family and process what this major change will be for us. I am looking forward to connecting with everyone again after I have a better sense of how my life has changed.
    Thank you for all of your support. It is appreciated deeply by myself, Brian and our family.

    We are the lucky ones

    February 12, 2009 // 1 Comment »

    Posted in challenges, changes, family life, husband, money, work life

    I usually don’t like to blog about the recession – it seems pointless to me. My husband and I aren’t really that special as far as an economic example. We both have jobs, we have no kids, I have student loans, and we just bought a house. Sure there are differences between our situation and our friends’ situations but in most cases the similarities are greater than the differences.

    And besides, usually the recession doesn’t hit too close to home.

    Brian and I are the lucky ones. I work in pharmaceuticals and while there have been some layoffs in the industry, I don’t need to worry about it too much. Brian has much less job security than I do though. Why? He is a finish carpenter. He doesn’t work unless you want to build or remodel.

    We’ve been lucky though. Most days there is work for him. Most of the time, he can bring home a full paycheck. And on the days there is no work available for him, we try to remember that we’ve been given the blessing of an extra day to work on our home.

    We’ve heard the horror stories. We had a friend who kept showing up at job sites and asking if there was any work available. He had great carpentry skills but was usually find work as a punch out guy or a paint and spackle bitch. We know another guy who took a huge pay cut just to stay with the home builder he had worked for. It helped him survive the layoff but it certainly didn’t help him pay child support.

    The faces at the job sites are changing. Everyone is just trying to get by and many of the builders are just trying to keep their doors open. Supervisors are doing the work usually reserved for day laborers.

    This past week, there were three horrible days when there was no work for Brian. The first day wasn’t so bad. The second day was concerning and annoying. The third day had my stomach in a knot: how were we going to pay the mortgage? What cuts can we make to our budget? Is the peanut butter I purchase for his lunch every day too expensive?

    I also knew I was being ridiculous.

    By Friday morning, I was a wreck. Was this a sign of things to come? Would I become the primary breadwinner in our family? Had the recession finally hit our home?

    Fortunately there was work for Brian. And my sanity quickly returned as I heard the news. I could have danced around the office in joy. Once again, we were blessed.

    When times are good, it can be so easy for this carpenter’s wife to forget what the bad looks like. When people are buying new homes or remodeling their old homes, my husband makes considerably more money than I do. He makes a family’s life better by changing the space they live in, transforming it into something truly beautiful.

    But when the economic climate changes, our lifestyle changes very quickly. Even when we are the lucky ones.

    This past week was a reminder, while we don’t have to make any major changes to the way we live right now, this is the time to start cutting back a bit. Do we really need to spend this much money on a gift? Why do I think I need new clothes? How can I save money at the grocery store? Why do we have so many online game accounts anyway?

    So far, the biggest changes we have had to make involve changing our remodeling schedule for the house. While we had hoped to put in new windows this spring (the current windows are ancient), we’ll have to wait until 2010. After all, there are 20 windows that need replacing. That could easily cost us four thousand dollars to do the job properly. We’re going to wait a little longer to build our master bedroom suite but that’s okay. Keeping a roof over our heads is far more important.

    We’ve also had to rethink about how we want to vacation. While we had been hoping that 2009 would be a big vacation year, we just can’t spend money that way right now. And if at the last minute, there was work available for Brian, we would have to take advantage of the available work. We’ll probably go camping this year (while I have separation anxiety from my laptop until it fully sinks in that I’ll be able to catch up on my reading list).

    Navigating a recession and keeping your sanity means you need to stay focused on what you have and what you can do. I have a husband who loves me. I have a roof over my head. I have a good life. I can feel grateful for what I have. I can make wise choices with the things entrusted to my care. I can keep my eyes on what is coming over the horizon.

    Change is always coming. What “this too shall pass” really means is cherish it while you have it. Even if it is unpleasant.