Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up
Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life
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Archive of "blogs" Category
Brazen NYC: That was easy
One of the things I love about the Brazen Careerist network is how easy it is to connect with other people. And I’ll be honest - I have a hard time connecting with other people because I am perfectly content to be by myself and quiet and occupied. So when Brazen makes it so easy, it’s great because then I don’t have an excuse to not connect.
Two weeks ago was the Brazen Meet Up in NYC and I made the trip up from Philly (which was not a bad trip until I got to the Lincoln Tunnel and wanted to turn around and go home when I realized it was an 8 dollar toll just to drive through a stinking tunnel). The meet up was great – I met some fabulous people, discovered some great blogs and managed to get drinks with a friend afterward. I also discovered that Ryan Paugh moves about a room like he’s still the fraternity’s social chair (which then begs the question do I still move around the room like a sorority president?). It was worth that 8 dollar toll through a stinking tunnel.
I really wasn’t sure what to expect when I arrived at the meet up and I was mildly terrified walking in the door. And I had a few moments where I thought I could turn around without anyone noticing I had come into the room. It was the same sort of feeling as when I told my stylist that I wanted to dye my hair red.
Much like the red hair, that scary feeling was worth it. Once I got over myself, I had the opportunity to make real changes in my life while I sipped on a $7 (gasp) glass of chardonnay.
- The fun stuff: I was interviewed by Life Before Noon’s Carla Blumenthal for the Brazen video. Once again, slightly scary but watching the video a week later, I feel really good about how I answered questions and the way I put myself out there.
- The work stuff: I started chatting with Caroline and Connie of SixFigureStart and I really connected with Connie and loved talking with her. Then it turns out that Brazen has been connecting career coaches with bloggers. Then Ryan made the connection between Connie and me and now, Connie is giving me some much needed career coaching. Had I not gotten over myself and gone through the door, I never would have met Connie and had this opportunity. And I get guidance in taking charge of my career. And I get more things to blog about which is always a plus. Keep your eyes open as I’ll be sharing what happens here.
- The personal stuff: I stuck around the event for a lot longer than I had planned. I normally don’t like to be among the last to leave but I was leaving the city that night with a friend who had to work late and I promised my husband I wouldn’t wander NYC by myself. I started chatting with Derek Halpern who made a comment about Adam Gilbert’s blog and company. After I got back to Philly, I made a point to check out Adam’s blog and his company mybodytutor.com. It turns out that Adam is someone who can really help me (I’ve been struggling with my health and fitness goals). That fleeting comment made by Derek sent me in a direction I never anticipated. I’m starting Adam’s program today and once again, I’m a little nervous but I’m also excited because I know I’m about to feel better than I have in a long time. I’ll also sharing updates on my struggles and successes over the coming weeks.
I didn’t have to talk to every single person in the room in order for the event to be successful for me. I just had to talk to a few people and be myself. Maybe networking isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Don’t be crippled by your stupid ideas
Last night I was fortunate to be on a conference call about blogging with Penelope Trunk and Alex Fisher (from Young Profession Finance). And I should confess that I was a huge mess of excitement yesterday as I contemplated questions to ask or comments I thought I might want to make.
It was slightly overwhelming as I dialed in last night. It reminded me of high school when you realized that you were about to spend time with someone much cooler than yourself.
When I started blogging, I got this idea in my head that Penelope Trunk would not be interested in answering questions from me because I was convinced that nothing I could say would be interesting enough for a response. And I’ve carried this idea in my head for the last two years. It was a very stupid idea too.
The problem with a stupid idea is that it cripples you. Especially when you keep the idea to yourself. If an idea lurks solely in your head, no one will be able to correct you when it’s horrible or guide you to success when you are on the right path.
When you keep that stupid idea inside, you might be temporarily saved from judgment but ultimately, you are only stopping yourself from being brilliant later.
I’m not really afraid of doing stupid things either. Stupid things can always be corrected later. I know this to be true because I do stupid things all of the time. And I have yet to do something so stupid that I can’t recover from it.
Still, I am afraid of having (and sharing) stupid ideas.
Back to the conference call – I received some great advice last night and heard some things that changed the way I looked at blogging. Advice that I could have been using for the last year but I wasn’t using it. Why? Because that stupid idea living in my head made it physically impossible for me to hear it any sooner.
In the end, I only held myself back.
Let’s face it: the people who inspire you are not going to track you down to tell you something brilliant or give you that swift kick you need to get yourself out of neutral. But they will be sharing those moments of wisdom with the person who took a few minutes to ask for it.
In the long run, building relationships allows you to be stupid and recover from it. Because when you are not only having the conversation but growing from it, other people will want to see past your prior mistakes. Your community will want you to succeed.
GenPink
Have you been to GenPink today? Its written by Elysa Rice and it talks about finding the balance in the twenty something female life. I’ve been hooked on her blog since she wrote her ABC’s of Gen Y. Elysa is also a member of the Brazen Careerist network.
Elysa was kind enough to share a post I wrote about Internal Interviews. Please check it out!
Blogging: Trying to explain it
Brian, my husband, is much more tech savy than I am. I tend to fumble my way through the internet with the enthusiasm of a five year old whereas Brian spends his evenings building his “super computer” and gaming.
Brian knows I have been blogging for a while now. I kept a blog over on Diaryland for years until we were engaged and then I let it fall by the wayside (it was one part scathing social commentary and one part “this is what I did today”). When I started blogging again last May, he did get a bit paranoid (especially after he realized I wrote something about his boxers) but he never really brought it up again. And I don’t think he’s looked at my blog since then.
Recently, the topic has come up again. He thinks blogging is stupid. He has the attitude that he spends enough time hearing about other people’s opinions to begin with so why should he go out of his way to read those opinion as well. He also wonders what he would blog about (apparently, he believes that no one would be interested in his life as a carpenter).
I told him it was a very good thing that I didn’t write soley for him to read.
I tried to explain to him the idea of community. The concept of being in conversation with other people who may not live where we live. I told him about the ability to throw an idea out into the world and see what comes of it.
All of it left me wondering: Why do people start blogs anyway? I started writing because of my love for the written word. But why does everyone else start? I’m fairly certain that not all bloggers out there are posting because they have a physical need to write.
What I really want to know is this: Why did you decide that starting a blog was a good idea? Is it something to fill the hours or is it something you are passionate about?
And if anyone has a better explaination of blogging, please let me know. Brian is still waiting.
Why you are actually reading about my husband
I blog about a lot of things.
I blog about work. I blog about my health. I blog about current events. I blog about my relationship with God. I blog about everything.
But really, this blog is about my marriage.
Even when I don’t write about it, it all comes back to my marriage.
Why?
My relationship with my husband is the single most important relationship in my life. It influences every decision I make. When I make a decision about what career path to follow, I am thinking about my husband. When I am seeking medical treatment, I think about how my treatment will affect my husband. When I look at CNN in the morning before work, I am thinking about, that’s right, my husband.
Brian is my priority.
And I don’t anticipate this changing. Even when we have kids, my husband will continue to be my highest priority. Why? Because we can always make more kids. I cannot recreate my husband.
Brian is the family I picked. I looked at him and decided that not only did I want to be in his tribe but I wanted to make our own little tribe with him. I wanted to create a life together.
Jobs will come and go. Friends will move on. Parents will (hopefully) die before I do. Politics will change. Current events will become history. Fads will fade and pop culture will be forgotten.
Brian will be the man I grow old next to. My wrinkly old hand will someday be patting my husband’s wrinkly old butt. And that’s the way I want it.
My commitment to Brian and Brian’s commitment to me is the most influencing factor in our lives. Everything will always come back to my marriage.
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