I usually try to stop myself when I have a “brilliant idea” to blog about “my faith”. I have no problem writing about the church I attend or things that happened in my Sunday School class but I’m really afraid when we cross over into the heavy stuff.
Of course, they are several factors behind this.
1. The first is that I failed miserably in my one and only attempt to write about where I was with my walk with God and I cried every time someone new linked to me to mock me.
2. The second is that I am very fearful of being labeled a “Christian Blogger”. I think there are more than enough Christian bloggers out there and if I’m going to tell you what I believe, its probably going to happen in my kitchen over dinner and not on the internet.
3. But the biggest reason is that I am not always a very good Christian. I do dumb things and I sin and I don’t want to put anything out there that would reflect badly on other Christians who are very good at being Christians. I don’t have illusions of grandeur in that I would damage the whole Christian community by my failures but I do fear that I would damage one child who is not physically related to me by my failures.
(By the way, that last reason is the largest failing of Christianity in my opinion. We have no problem talking about the sins of those who are not saved but we are really afraid to talk about our own big sins. We confess our road rage and our stolen office supplies to accountability groups but very rarely do Christians come to the group as a whole and talk about their jealousy, their hate, their resentments which pepper their lives. There are church communities that are able to have real confession and accountability and I have so much respect for them but I also realize they are the exception and not the rule.)
So I keep my mouth shut. Of course there is a problem with this: something big happens and you want to share it with the world but you still really haven’t made the sweeping declaration of faith that logically comes before the big announcement. Sure, the sweeping declaration of faith isn’t really necessary, you’ve been dropping hints the whole time, but you still recognize that it has to be done just in case people were not paying attention.
Here goes: My name is Dorie and I am Christian. I believe in strong faith-based communities rooted in geographical areas. I believe with a missionary spirit in your own home time. I believe God calls us to do his good works in Jesus’ name. I believe Jesus died for my sins and I am forgiven. (I also believe in predestination but I haven’t worked it all out in my head in a way that I can easily and lovingly explain – I am not a theologian).
Which leaves us with the heart of what needs to be said, the big announcement instead of stating the obvious.
We’re planting a church. We’re planting a church in Bristol. We’re planting a church because it turns out it was more than just me that felt called to Bristol. We’re planting a church because we are called to love this community as God loves us.
(For me, the above paragraph is the spiritual equivalent of “We’re having a baby” only Brian and I are not having a baby, we are having a church and other people are involved whereas baby making would be an act that would just be us.)
For the last three months on Sunday nights, a group has been meeting in our living room to share a meal and share worship together. I’ve loved every minute of it, even when I was too tired to get off of the couch. Some of the people I’ve known for a while, others were new faces that are quickly becoming dear friends.
I know it is going to take a lot of work in the months and years ahead but that’s just what happens when you build a community, whether it be online or in person. I am just blessed to say I am on the journey.
Marie said...
1Now this is just awesome. Putting your spirituality out there is so tough, so thank you for having the courage to share this news. Going to church makes you odd, PLANTING a church makes you crazy. Here’s to being crazy! I’ll definitely keep you guys in my prayers
09/17/09 2:33 PM | Comment Link
Leslie said...
2We’re planting a church too, and yes, it feels like having a baby. Not that I would know. Which is also probably why I’m crazy enough to plant a church…
09/17/09 10:41 PM | Comment Link
Dorie said...
3@Marie – Thanks!
@Leslie – It’s very nice to know that I’m not the only crazy one
@Everyone – Hooray for craziness!
09/18/09 2:33 PM | Comment Link
Carl Weaver said...
4This is great news!
10/7/09 1:41 PM | Comment Link
Paul said...
5Dorie,
I just stumbled upon this blog for the first time today and wanted to thank you for the vulnerability, wit, and eloquence of this blog post. I resonated with your “Christian” disclaimer and have often lamented in the same ways as a writer, a blogger, and especially as a…gasp…Christian, who doesn’t really want to be labeled as one in this small space that is my own and yet is the worlds.
Its funny the way we use this word “Christian”. I don’t even know what it means any more, if I ever did. But I have this sneaking suspicion that those who are the really “Good Christians” are sometimes the really bad, and the “Bad Christians” somehow end up looking more like Jesus, which I guess really makes them, actually quite good.
We try to make this being a Christian thing, a check list of the do’s and don’ts lest you be sent to hell and yet it doesn’t seem as
1.
2.
3.
as it did in Sunday School.
So my blessings to you as you start this church. As a pastors kid who watched both my parents live Church for 10 years, I know that road is filled with many joys and many heartaches.
But I am constantly being reminded that “Church” is a people, before it’s a building, offering, 10:00 AM with two uplifting songs to kick it off, thing.
Church is the Body of Christ, which in non-Christianese means it’s the you’s, me’s, people meeting in your living room, and the dark, smelly, secrets that need beams of light and a Jesus-Scented Air Freshner. (I imagine that being kind of a sweaty-sandal mixed with grapes, smell. Not sure if I’d want that scent in my living room, but I know it somehow ends up smelling really good).
I don’t know why I write you this long comment. I planned on just skimming this post before I went along my merry-internet-way, but I wanted to say a thank you and encourage you that you’re not alone in this adventure/struggle/oh-my-God, am I becoming more incredibly crazy or more incredibly sane journey.
10/28/09 1:05 AM | Comment Link