I know nothing about football but for some reason, there is this very special place in my heart for high school football. Maybe it was one too many night in the stadium during my own high school days while my friends marched with the band or maybe there something about seeing all of the families in the stands. I can’t help myself. Friday nights in a stadium, hearing the drum cadence and seeing the kids on the field makes me excited.
Brian has no concept of this. One of the downfalls to homeschooling is that it leaves kids with virtually no typical rites of passage. No prom. No graduation. No football games. Just home and school which happen to take place in the same place.
Brian and I went to the big game on Friday night. My own Neshaminy Redskins versus the Pennsbury Falcons on Heartbreak Ridge. The two rivals on Senior Appreciation Night. It doesn’t get any more classic high school than this. It was a perfect game to take Brian to see.
It was nothing that I remembered. Bet you didn’t see that coming.
Sure the stadium was the same. Those giant concrete stands couldn’t change if they wanted to. The snack stand was in the same location. The Neshaminy Hall of Fame Wall was right where I saw it last. The marching band sat in the same portion of the stands as they did when I was a student.
Everything was physically exactly the same but the experience I wanted to recreate for Brian just couldn’t be done. I left that experience behind in 2000.
Because when we leave the past, we leave the past. We don’t just carry it with us to re-experience when it is convenient. It is why life is so precious.
I can’t bring Brian back in time to experience things differently, even if I think he will enjoy the experience I had.
I can take Brian to see my childhood home but I cannot recreate the experience of sitting in the family room, folding paper stars with my grandfather while my grandmother made dinner. I am the only one who had that experience and the time for that is over.
Our experiences are our own. They are not transferable. It’s a onetime deal.
The upside? I can have new experiences with my husband. And because I’m with my husband, those experiences are something that I could not have on my own.
Neshaminy won the game on Friday. And in terms of a “new” experience (ie: Brian at a high school football game), it was fun but I think next time, I’ll leave my high school memories at home.
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