Comments on: Brian, Dorie and Stress

By: My love is like ice cream. « the kids are having fun.

My love is like ice cream. « the kids are having fun. — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:26:48 +0000

[...] think Jack is right. I think men and women are both guilty of being too specific when it comes to dating. I am not suggesting that you settle [...]

By: Carmella

Carmella — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:31:34 +0000

Sigh… insightful reflections on this, Dorie.

Now that we see that we are reacting in not-so-complimentary ways, how to we begin to align? How do we bear one another’s burdens, so that neither one of us snap under stress, or go all psychotic??!!

I think we should exchange time-saving techniques with each other. (I still need to figure out how to decrease the frequency of dusting my black and dark brown furniture…)

By: Jill R.

Jill R. — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 16:37:38 +0000

This is an interesing topic… my husband and I both manage stress very differently as well. In fact, my husband says that he doesn’t know what stress is! One day when I was really struggling, he asked me what stress felt like! Can you believe it!

So while he thinks he doesn’t have ANY stress to manage, I manage mine by being pro-active with myself and working to help others manage their stress (helping others really helps me as well).

Great topic!

By: James Thomas

James Thomas — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 14:45:45 +0000

Interesting…

My wife and I are kindof opposite from you two in this regard… I tend to be the frantic fixer, while she goes into a bit of overload…

we’re learning to balance one another out though…

funny that someone who deals with other peoples’ stress on a daily basis still has to figure this stuff out in his own life!

all the best,

-J.T.

By: nancy

nancy — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 02:27:04 +0000

More than a gender thing, I think this is probably personal character traits in action that are inherited or influenced from one parent or the other and probably cross over into many areas of a person’s life. Also, this is a compatibility issue between partners. As far as problems that involve the both of you, it is not unreasonable for you to desire a more equitable distribution for responsibility in the relationship so that no one particular person is bearing the brunt of the stress that married couples face, otherwise it seems like it ends up being more of a parent-child relationship where one person is “taking care” of the other.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 20:27:55 +0000

Hm, I’m not sure yet, since we’re a new couple. I think we’re really similar generally, which has it’s good and bad And he’s amazingly patient, which helps just about everything.

By: Dorie

Dorie — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:30:53 +0000

@Norcross – Your tweet response was right after I finished this post and I seriously thought about changing it.

@Rebecca – Do you and your boyfriend have polar responses or are your coping mechanisms a little better aligned?

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:08:35 +0000

Love this post. My boyfriend and I are so stressed right now, it’s not even funny. I think we react slightly differently than you and Brian, but this post still made me feel loads better

By: Norcross

Norcross — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:55:52 +0000

Funny enough, this was one of the very topics Mamma and I dealt with in our marriage counseling. Only we’re the opposite. She shuts down. I don’t. So I don’t think it’s a gender thing, rather, a personality thing.