I always have this plan that I will not let my inbox be full of junk. I will sort everything into folders, deal with each and every email in an appropriate time frame and I will delete emails when I no longer can benefit from saving them. I will follow through and I will be victorious over my gmail!
Once again, I have 700 hundred emails in my inbox. I’d delete them all in one shot but some of them contain information about my mortgage and I’m a bit fearful of deleting those accidentally.
I feel like an electronic pack rat. Sometimes, it gets so bad that I just abandon an email address because the thought of going through all of that information is overwhelming.
I know in the grand scheme of things, all of that email isn’t the biggest concern. There’s things that are a much bigger deal: the homeless in Philadelphia (winter is coming) or the current economic crisis (can we talk about my student loans please?). My email is just annoying.
What makes it especially annoying is that when I see Brian open his email, he only has 12 emails in his inbox. That’s right. 12 emails. All of those emails were dealt with in a timely manner. His inbox is pristine. It’s easy to locate information in there. Oh and I know there 12 emails in there because I counted. I was so jealous that I counted. There were still just 12 emails.
This is partially because Brian doesn’t spend much time online and partially because he recently changed his email address but didn’t tell anyone. Some of my seven hundred emails are emails intended for him but our friends didn’t know how to reach him so they reached me instead.
Sometimes the title “wife” really means “personal assistant”.
Which is okay. I enjoy that aspect of marriage. It’s just that when I have 700 emails, I don’t feel like I’m the best “personal assistant” to Brian that I could be. I may joke about him being my better half but sometimes (okay, a lot of times) it’s true. If I can’t manage to take care of something like email, something that really isn’t that big of a deal, what else am I failing to properly manage?
The email is really just a symptom of a bigger problem. The email is a personal reminder that I’ve been struggling to find and maintain balance. My email is telling me that I have a lot of work to do.
I have this fantasy that I could live life like a machine. A well oiled, well maintained machine. Preferably a machine that did not require sleep. A Stepford Wife.
Periodically, I forget that I am not a machine. And then I end up sick and exhausted like I did last week. And when I end up sick and exhausted, I know I am missing even more things. That’s when I am not being a good wife. Or a good employee. Or a good Dorie.
The most concerning part is not being a good me but I keep catching myself putting the wife/employee/whatever else roles in front of being me.
So how do I fix it? How do I balance the desire to do it all with the knowledge that it is physically impossible to do everything? How do I make serious adult decisions when sometimes I feel like I am stilling playing make believe?
Deb said...
1I normally have the same issue – steeped in 1000+ emails, I have typically struggled to keep from becoming overwhelmed by my inbox.
I have recently committed to becoming an email minimalist… So far I am pleased to report that I am only holding 7 messages in my actual Gmail (22 at work). We’ll see if it can last the week…wait, what am I saying?! Can it even last the hour?
09/29/08 12:45 PM | Comment Link
Carmella said...
2Finding balance and organizing priorities, I am coming to believe, will be one of our primary tasks, and will be one of the best ways to determine our personal maturity and boundary setting skills. It is profoundly difficult to let something go that would receive some of our time if we lived in a 28 hour day. However, I think we will find ourselves happier and healthier if we can say, “(that) is not as important as (this) and so (this) gets my time/energy, and (that) will just have to wait. No-one will die….”
09/29/08 1:13 PM | Comment Link
Rebecca said...
3700!? Wow. I mean, not really, I know people like you, but I could never do that. I have my work email coming into my Gmail account (it helps me not to have seperate accounts) and always try to keep it under 50.
Part of this is my personality too though. I’m relentless at purging – just did a jaunt this weekend through my closet, dresser and files.
I think it just depends on your priorities. Does it really matter if you have 700 emails? If it does, change it. If it doesn’t, you’ll probably keep on, keepin on. I hate to sound like Dr. Phil, but we do what works for us.
Great post!
09/29/08 1:41 PM | Comment Link
Dorie said...
4Last night, I hit select all and archive. And then I felt better.
@Rebecca – I want to be a person who is good at purging but honestly, it scares me. And overwhelms me. On a side note, my mother was always amazing at purging and loved to purge my things (leaving me to spend a lot of time wondering where my things had gone).
@Deb – Email minimalist? That sounds amazing.
09/30/08 11:25 AM | Comment Link