If you have been following along for the last few weeks, you may have noticed that life is very up and very down right now. On side of things, I bought my dream home and I’m thrilled (even though there may be issues with keys, U&O and dead bodies). But on the other side of my life, there is family stress (with the worst of it being that my 87 year old grandfather breaking his hip). And then there’s this thing called blogging that I love to do and that other thing. I think it’s called my job (you know, that place you go to for at least eight hours a day and they give you money).
To be quite honest, I’m struggling not to be a complete train wreck. I think I’m keeping it somewhat together but every now and then, the desperation seeps into my tweets. And sometimes it seeps into my blog posts but I keep hoping that it reads as insightful.
I’m really struggling with the work thing though. Part of me wants to hide under my desk and cry all day or take Costanza naps because I’m not really sleeping at night. But more of me wants to kick ass and not let my personal life impact my work life.
But here’s the thing: What I really want is a blended life. I really want a life that isn’t deeply compartmentalized. And my personal life is going to impact my work life. I know I haven’t really been my best lately.
The question then becomes how can I step back slightly at work without letting my team down?
Talking: As per usual, my direct supervisor and HR know what is going on. Part of me was hesitant to tell them but here’s the deal: If I don’t tell them what’s going on, I only shoot myself in the foot. I’ve also told the administrative staff (because if the phone call comes in that I have to take off for the hospital, I would hope the admins would hunt me down right away).
But what about the rest of my coworkers? Should they know? The people on my team know that I have some personal events going on and I may need a little more flexibility right now. I’m not asking them to bend over backwards for me but I am letting them know that I may need a slightly longer lead time on some projects.
As for the other people I work with, if they ask, I’ll tell them what’s going on but I’m leaving the details out of it. “My grandfather fell and broke his hip so I’m spending a lot of time at the nursing home with him” is a perfectly acceptable response to give. “Well, my grandfather fell and he broke his hip so there was surgery to replace the hip but now my mom and I are concerned that’s he’s being….” is not an acceptable response. No one wants to hear that much. Oh and if they don’t ask, I’m not telling.
Projects: This is not the time to be superwoman in the office. While I always love to bite off more than I can chew, now I’m focusing on the tedious tasks that my department had been putting off. There are several benefits to this approach.
To Do Lists: I’ve always been a compulsive list maker but when times get rough, a good list can be a saving grace. When I get to the office every morning, I make a list of the top ten things that I need to do that day to keep things running smoothly. And I stick to ten things so I don’t overwhelm myself at 7 in the morning. Then I rank those items but how important they are and I start with the most important item. It’s a simple approach but it helps me keep my priorities in order. When I can’t trust myself to make consistent decisions about priorities, my list allows me to make most of my decisions for the day at a time when my mind is the clearest.
We all have times in our lives where life overwhelms us and it’s tough to keep it together. But we have to keep it together because life won’t stop moving forward because we aren’t sure what to do next. As adults, it is our job to tell the people around when we need help or when we think we are dropping the ball.
A Girl’s Best Friend | The Writer Bee said...
1[...] two cents on friendships and the importance of them…to me, anyway! Check out the post, and read some of Dorie’s posts while you’re there – she’s awesome and a gifted writer, not to mention funny. Today [...]
09/17/08 10:01 AM | Comment Link