I’ve dabbled in and out of modeling for a few years now. It has never been something that I have seriously pursued. Most of my jobs are usually booked because I have a friend who is an artist and they need someone for figure studies or a particular project. The rest of my jobs are booked because an artist knows some of my artist friends and then it just becomes an exercise in networking. I don’t model very much anymore because I would rather spend time with Brian (I already spend enough time at the office).
It rarely is particularly challenging for me although sitting for a painting was brutal. Usually, I just show up, do my thing and go home. I earn some extra money or I help out a friend and I go home happy.
The Well is hosting its third annual Art Show and Fashion Show next weekend. One of the things that draws me to this show is that it is all about social justice and helping local artists have a forum to show their work. It is the community aspect of it that I really love more than anything.
Part of the fashion aspect is a runway show. I’ve never been a runway model. But I also know that the time in my life where I could be a runway model is quickly coming to an end.
I signed up to model. And quite frankly, I am scared out of my mind.
The dress rehearsal was on Saturday night and I think I was the largest model there. I’m by no means a big girl but when the designer asks you what size you are and he responds with a weird face and a “ooh” and then more of a weird face… well, it can be a bit brutal on one’s self esteem.
I’m putting myself out there, good or bad. I’d like to think I’m putting on a brave face but as I worked my way down the walk, one of the coordinators screamed out “STOP THINKING SO MUCH”.
There may be a distinct possibility that I will make a complete ass out of myself.
But I’m also okay with that. Life is too short to not take risks.
And usually what we fear turns into something we enjoy. Fear is a lot like change – it really isn’t all that permanent. Yes, I could fall flat on my face as I walk (while wearing a miniskirt that barely covers my butt). But I could also look fabulous. And most likely, I will look back as an old woman and tell annoying stories to my grandkids about how I was a model. And hopefully, I’ll jump start some desire in them to be scared.
At least this week, I have extra motivation to stay out of the company candy dish.
jrandom42 said...
1Did something that really scared me. Jumped out of an airplane at night with all sorts of bad people shooting up at you with murderous intent. Got hit in the flak vest with a couple of bullets, and have invested some money with DuPont “better living through chemistry”! Still have the vest with the bullets embedded in it.
Afterwards, it’s given me a new perspective on life. When something really ugly happens and everyone is melting down, screaming, “It’s a matter of life or death!” I go to work fixing it, because I can truly say, “I’ve seen life. I’ve seen death. This doesn’t even come close to either one.” Really puts things in perspective.
05/8/08 11:50 AM | Comment Link