Last night I was totally overwhelmed by life. I walked through the front door, took one look at Brian and just started sobbing. Could this be a sign that any sense of balance I once had has evaporated?
Maybe.
I feel like I’m in some Nationwide commercial and I keep waiting for the voiceover to come out with the “Life comes at you fast” tagline.
I’m still waiting.
At the moment, I’m overwhelmed with the many different roles I play in my life. Wife. Employee. Daughter. Writer. Morgan Family Member. Gillette Family Member. I could keep going but then I’m only going to overwhelm myself again.
The fact is keeping a balanced life is so much harder than I expected. As a kid, my mother made it seem effortless but now that I am an adult, I realize that she was falling apart even more than most. Yet I still hold myself to the standard at which I perceived her.
What set me over the edge last night was this: There are only 24 hours in the day. In that 24 hours, I expect myself to be able to work for eight hours, take an hour lunch, drive 45 minutes each way to work, make lunch for both myself and my husband, shower/shave my legs, cook dinner, eat dinner, do laundry, go to school part time, talk to friends, fulfill family obligations, spend quality time with my husband, find time to do things for me and still look good. Oh and despite my exhaustion, I still expect myself to be ready for love making with a moment’s notice. I should also find time to be able to sleep for seven to eight hours a night.
Clearly, this is not working out.
How do we find resolution between our expectations of self versus the physical limitations of both time and our bodies? How do we learn to say no to the things we think we want to do?
Maybe the key to realistically finding balance is being able to set better boundaries. Maybe I shouldn’t even be thinking about having balance in my life until I’m comfortable setting boundaries that may make people angry. Maybe I need to stop holding myself to the housework standards as a homemaker.
Last night, I looked at my life in terms of two columns: The things I want to do versus the things I should do. Somewhere in the middle lie the things I will actually do.
The question is now, what makes it onto that list?
Mom2Cam...Wife2Ger said...
1Dorie Dorie Dorie…don’t you realize that once your married…making love at moments notice gets thrown out the window of things that need to be done? lol. IM me or email me and I will tell you about my little experiment I did a few weeks back…you will be AMAZED
)
Sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed…it sucks being an adult doesn’t it?
04/9/08 8:50 AM | Comment Link