Whether you want to admit it or not, your parents have been lying to you for longer than you can remember. At first it was little lies – Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and Cupid fall into this category. Then the lies got a little bigger – Prince Charming is one of those lies women wrestle with into their thirties. But then came the most monstrous lies of all with the first being “Love Conquers All” and the second being “You can be anything you want to be”.
I’m not capable of touching the first one with a ten foot pole so let me set you straight on the second: You can’t be anything you want to be.
Sucks, doesn’t it?
Need proof?
You cannot be a prince/princess unless you were born into a royal lineage or unless you can manage to smile with your eyes wide open and even then there is a long audition process before you can become a Disney Princess.
That one is a little obvious so let’s try again:
You cannot be a professional athlete unless you are gifted in a physically adept manner, have made the necessary sacrifices of both your body and time and have committed yourself to achieving excellence. I may want to be a professional athlete but with my genetic blessings, it isn’t going to happen in this lifetime.
Life is about choices and the idea of being whatever you want strips young people of the ability to make honest, informed choices.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a professional actress when I grew up. More specifically, I wanted to be on Broadway. I wanted to be a leading lady who sang and danced and was adored. But I am not a dancer. Nor was I that interested in becoming an accomplished dancer (like I said before, my physical prowess leaves much to be desired). I knew not to fool myself from an early age. But when I went to college, I discovered plenty of women who were like me except that they still believed they would be Broadway stars. Their parents were still telling them that they could be whatever they dreamed of.
To a certain extent, it may be okay to lie to kids about this. I’m not a parent so I don’t know for sure but from this end of things, it seems to cripple my peers instead of helping them. Maybe it would be better to tell kids that with hard work, they could do wonderful things.
The question becomes, at least for me, at what point must the truth come out? Fulfilling a dream requires hard work, dedication, vision, preparation, opportunity and passion. Or maybe, the question is really about when it is time to surrender the fantasy. When does dedication become delusional? There is always that fine line between brilliance and crazy.
But what I am really trying to stress is that adult life is about choices. I work to pay my bills. I am not looking for the career equivalent of hitting the lottery. But I am looking for the freedom to pursue my own loves on my own time. Because at the end of the day, you probably can’t have it all. You can’t have the perfect job, the perfect family and time for your hobbies, unless you think you don’t need to sleep at night. And by kidding yourself that you can have it all and stay sane, you put off the choice aspect of adulthood.
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