Our pastor and his wife announced yesterday in church that they are expecting a baby in February. They are currently in the process of adopting a little boy from Guatemala so they will suddenly jump from 1 child to 3 in just six month.
I’m jealous.
I know Brian and I promised each other that we would wait four years before we started trying. We want to be sure that we are ready for babies but we also want to be sure that we have time to be a couple. A baby would change everything in ways that we are not prepared for. A baby is more than we can handle.
Still. I am jealous. I want to experience the world through the eyes of a child. I want to watch in amazement as a little person grows and changes in front of me. I want to fuss over bonnets and little shoes. I want to laugh with a little face.
I know I am not ready.
I know that my priority at the moment is to be a good wife to Brian and to be a good person to myself. I know it is not realistic, practical or ideal. I know at the moment I have a strong preference to be Crazy Aunt Dorie instead of “MOM”.
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