Dorie Morgan’s Rising Up
Navigating Twenty-Something Suburban Life
Really? You know a guy?
In the attempts of being neighborly, our next door neighbor asked us how our first night in our new home went. I start beaming. Brian scowls and starts muttering about not being able to sleep at all.
At the risk of being the “dirty” people, I decide that this is a great time to announce the bug incident. Complete with me leaping around the driveway to give our neighbor the full impact of my hysteria. Classy. But before I can finish telling him about the bug, he bursts out with “What? A Water Bug?”
Clearly, he doesn’t understand how traumatic this was so I break out the ridiculous hand gestures and failing limbs to add to the leaping in order to paint a truly vivid story about the horror that ensued. I’m about to tell him that the bug was larger than my cat, had a knife and seemed to be connected with the mob when Neighbor Friend interrupts.
“Yeah, we get water bugs all the time.”
“I thought it was a cockroach. I don’t want to be a dirty person.”
“Nah, a water bug. You know, we know a guy.” (I should add that most of the block appears to be Italian in a bad stereotype way so to hear “we know a guy” was bound to happen eventually.) “He’s my wife’s friend and he’s the exterminator.” (What? Are you trying to have us killed?) “Next time he comes over, we’ll have him get in touch with you.” (This can’t be good.) “He’ll give you a good price.” (Wait, who am I supposed to be killing? Oh yes, the giant “water bug”.)
To be fair, my neighbor and his family are perfectly normal. I don’t think they have any sort of affliations with any sort of mafia. Not even Mafia Wars on facebook.
I just pretend I’m not a lunatic
In an older home, I expect there to be bugs. I’m not talking about a complete infestation but I try to remember that over time, things settle and cracks form and bugs find their way in. But that’s okay because for the most part they don’t harm anyone and it is good motivation to keep a clean home because it will keep the bugs away for the most part.
They won’t stay if they cannot find food.
Since we bought a home built over 90 years ago, I thought I’d be well prepared for what was to come. Every time Brian ripped out a piece of baseboard to replace it, I expected to see bugs scurrying away. But there were none.
Never saw a single insect.
I expected to find bugs in the basement. I expect to find nasty yucky creatures behind the oil tank when it was replaced. Once again, nothing.
I was lucky. I was happy. Despite the volume of work my home required, I did not have bugs. This was the good life and this was my dream home.
So we moved in and on our first night in our new home I’m about to climb into bed with my dear sweet husband who provided me with this glorious house. And then I notice something on the floor and I go to pick it up and throw it out. It is dark in color and about an inch long.
It moves. And I fight the urge to scream my head off because we have friends staying with us and I don’t want them to think I’m a dirty person who lives in a bug infested house.
Instead I leap on top of the bed with the force and speed of an Olympic athlete, grab a hold of a very confused Brian and whisper frantically “it’s a bug, BRIAN, it’s a bug”.
Brian calmly gets out of bed and beats the insect with his sock until it scurries out of the room and through a crack in the wall in the hallway while I do the full body shudder like a small baby with a developing nervous system.
Then panic sets in. Because the truth of the matter is that I can expect to find bugs in my home but that doesn’t change the fact that I am terrified of bugs.
Suddenly my mind is racing and my mouth is struggling to keep up with the words spewing forth. “It must a cockroach. It has to be a cockroach. Of course we didn’t have any little bugs, the cockroach was eating the little bugs for survival. But I learned in my food and safety class that there is never just one…”
“I don’t think it was a cockroach” Brian attempts to interject.
“…cockroach. There are always multiple cockroaches. Multiple. Brian, I think our walls are filled with cockroaches and now we live in squalor. Do you think your dad will let us move back in with him?”
“I really don’t think it was a cockroach…”
“We’re now the dirty people, Brian. We’re living in my dream house and it’s filled with cockroaches and bugs and WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? We don’t have money for an exterminator! We just bought a house! What were we thinking?!?!”
“I’ll lay some traps tomorrow. I don’t think it was a cockroach. It’s going to be fine.”
“I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation.”
“I’m going to bed now.”
Moral of the story: Don’t have house guests the first night you sleep in your new place. You can’t scream your head off like the lunatic you actually are when a giant insect tries to escape your insanity.
Save New Beginnings
Bensalem School District wants to cancel New Beginnings, a program geared towards helping teenage moms get their high school degrees and learn how to care for their children. I don’t live in Bensalem but this drives me nuts - the New Beginnings program is a great example of being proactive with a community problem. Run by Patti Pearson, New Beginnings has a 90% graduation rate for its program participants.
What I love most this program is that it breaks the cycle. By supporting these young women in difficult circumstances, New Beginnings give their children a better chance in life. Patti’s love for the young women she works with is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
The other thing I love about this program is that it is the community that solves the problem. Instead of waiting for the federal or state governement to step in and save the day, Bensalem School District took charge. These women were part of the community and were given resources to not onlyhelp themselves but ultimately contribute towards the community.
Please check out the following post by Kathrin Ivanovic at The Diversity Projekt. If you are able to help support this important program, it would be greatly appreciated.
Call for Help: Miss Pennsylvania
One of my favorite people in my offline life is Rachel Marlowe. I’ve had the pleasure of working with her through Phi Mu since I graduated and she always amazes me by how she as it all together. She is a phenomenal sister, a gifted actress and most recently, a stunning Miss Lehigh Area 2009.
In order for Rachel to continue on to the Miss Pennsylvania Scholarship Pageant in June, Rachel has some fund raising to do. Rachel’s goal is to raise $550 for the Children’s Miracle Network (CMN). CMN is also the national philanthropy of Phi Mu – obviously an organization very close to my heart.
Please take a few moments and visit Rachel’s page and please help her to reach her goal. I would love to see Rachel go above and beyond her fund raising goals. If we each donate $5, I know Rachel will more than pass $550.
I’ve posted Rachel’s bio below. Thanks for helping me support her in her goals. I can’t wait to see her move on to Miss America.
Rachel Marlowe, a 21 year old double major in Theatre and Dance, was crowned Miss Lehigh Area 2009 on April 5, 2009 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Operating under the platform “Work Hard, Play Hard: Arts Education in Public School Systems”, Rachel is passionate about spreading her passion for the arts around Pennsylvania.
In the few short weeks of her reign, Rachel has volunteered at the 6th Street Shelter in Allentown, PA- teaching musical theatre dance to children, at Relay for Life (Muhlenberg College), and at Girls Night Out- benefitting victims of domestic abuse and children orphaned by domestic abuse. She intends to further her platform by visiting local public schools throughout the academic year, promoting arts education. Using the skills she has acquired at Muhlenberg College, located in Allentown, PA, Rachel’s public school program includes reading an inspirational story, learning a new and educational song, drawing pictures and getting physically active through dance! Rachel is preparing for the Miss Pennsylvania Scholarship Pageant in June 2009. Visit MissPa.org and/or http://rachelmarlowe.webs.com for more details.
Outside of the pageant world, Rachel has been performing in regional theatres across the east coast. She has been seen in such roles as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and Phyllis in 42nd Street, both with the Ocean City Theatre Company, and has performed in various charity cabarets, including Muhlenberg Does the Tony’s, benefitting Camp Imagine, a performing arts camp in Allentown, PA. Rachel also enjoys knitting, taking walks through the Lehigh Valley, watching old movies, visiting county fairs and carnivals, and designing dresses.
In addition to promoting her personal platform, Rachel has set a personal goal of raising $550 for the Children’s Miracle Network, a charity that assists families in paying for the medical bills of their children. Rachel, having had chronic asthma as a child, holds CMN very close to heart, knowing full well how much her family had to sacrifice to pay her hospital and medical bills. Please donate to this worthy cause today!
At night I dream about term papers
So I’ve been thinking about relationships and education lately.
I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration focusing in Entrepreneurial Studies. I fantasize about graduate school. I take Continuing Education Credits at the local community college whenever money permits so I can continue to expand my skill set. I read at least three books a week.
And then there is Brian. Brian was home schooled (he graduated from “Morgan Academy”). He put in a few years at a local community college but didn’t complete his Associate’s Degree. When the opportunity arose for him to learn a trade, he grabbed a hold of the opportunity. He is now a skilled finish carpenter. In the almost two years that we have been married, I have seen him read one book (“The Shy Little Puppy” which our 6 month old niece loved, FYI).
The gap between our levels of education will continue to grow over time. Brian doesn’t dream about school. (He also doesn’t dream about his marketable job skills but I do). We both know that on our mutual wish lists for the future, more education for me is high on the list.
We aren’t the only couple we know in this situation. We spend a lot of time with couples that have a college educated wife and a high school educated husband. Most of the husbands work in skilled trades, but not all of them do. Most of the husbands have also started a college degree but opted not to finish it.
I wonder what this will mean for us in the future.
Do you and your partner have the same level of education? Who has more? How has that impacted your relationship? Do either of you want to go back to school?
Viralogy
I’m playing with Viralogy this morning. What have you done for your blog today?
Viralogy
I’m playing with Viralogy this morning. What have you done for your blog today?
Leave Your Politics Out Of Hunger
On Monday, I went to an event at the United Christian Church focusing on solving hunger. It sounded like a great idea. How can you go wrong with a title like “Beyond Charity: solving the problem of food insecurity and hunger in Bucks County”?
The answer is far more easily than I expected.
I’m not a liberal by any account. I hate the idea of a huge federal government. I voted for Bob Barr. But I do care about my community. Brian and I give to several non-profits every year, even if that means we go without when it comes time to buy new clothes for work or skip date night. We believe in community as a means to better the world we live in.
With that being said, I wasn’t surprised when I got to this event and it was filled with social workers and advocates. But I was surprised when the first person spoke, Robin Stelly of Penn Action, mentioned how difficult it was to find a location for the event. She talked about churches and community centers not wanting to host the event because of political concerns.
I was confused. How are there political concerns with solving hunger in Bucks County? Hunger seems like a pretty straight forward issue: we weren’t going to be discussing gay marriage or abortion or stem cell research.
And then Joel Berg got up. Berg is a national leader in the field hunger and food security and recently published a book “All You Can Eat: How Hungry Is America?” He started his talk/book reading with a rehashing of his recent visit to Alaska and how he “battled” Sarah Palin. Then he started referring to Palin as the “Alaskan Bear” and how he made her back down.
This struck me as odd. And inappropriate. While I may not agree with Sarah Palin’s political beliefs, I do believe that we have the right to free speech and she has the right to run for office. We do not need to compare our fellow man to an animal when our fellow man has a different opinion. We also do not need to “battle” over ideas – this is not Gladiators. Whatever happened to having a calm, rational discussion of ideas?
Next Berg moved onto slurs against Libertarians. Later he told us that even if the conservatives are lying, liberals do not need to stoop to their levels. He ranted against individuals who disagreed with or had concerns over the Obama budget.
The message I got from Berg was that if you did not agree with his extreme liberal ideology, you were heartless.
It was hard to pick out solutions for hunger from Berg’s talk that were separate from his pro-government perspective.
The last straw for me was when Berg made fun of bloggers for asking questions about bailout money and the use of welfare and food programs. While only a passing snarky moment for him, it stuck with me. Here was a man in front of us who was not interested in having a discussion about solutions. He was only interested in being right. He was not interested in real questions.But I do need to mention how impressed I was with Joseph Quattrocchi of Pennsylvania Hunger Action Center and Jonathan Na of the Bucks County Opportunity Council. These men were able to provide a realistic and startling look at what hunger means in Pennsylvania as well as discuss what is being done already and how we, as a community, can contribute to solve the hunger problem.
“Food Insecurity” does not mean much to a woman who doesn’t know how she will feed her kids today. To her, she is starving. Not in the trite way we lament an hour before dinner but actually starving. She will choose to continue her hunger to feed her children. She might not be aware of food programs that are available at her children’s school or she may be too embarrassed to ask for help. She may not have transportation to get to a food bank.
“Food Insecurity” is just one of those terms we slap on a problem to make it sound nicer, maybe not so bad. For 12% of the US in 2007, it meant something very different.
Specter: The Dems Can Have Him
I’m not a fan of Arlen Specter. He’s out of touch. He ignores his constituents. He sends the wrong form letters. He cares more about his corporate campaign contributors than the people who voted for him. He is unable to answer any questions about what he is doing to help his Gen Y constituents.
I wasn’t one of them. He is my arch nemesis after all.
Still, I was thrilled that he jumped the Republican Party ship yesterday. Good. Good riddance to bad rubbish. The Democrats can have him. (Please note: I am a registered Libertarian but there is a small part of me that hopes and dreams that one day, the Republican Party could return to what it really stands for and then we could have a three party system.)
The only way this could possibly be better is if he didn’t get reelected.
What Specter is doing now is a last ditch effort to stay in office. Pat Toomey is going to get that Republican nomination in the primary. Because no self respecting Republican would have voted for Specter. And after thirty years in the Senate, Specter had to have known the fat lady was singing his song.
This had nothing to do with your best interests. That’s right. Nothing to do with you. You might his constituent. You might need your senator’s help. He does not care. This had everything to do with him desperately clinging to his political life as a feeble, 79 year old man.
If I was the Democratic Party, I would turn him away. I would be raising questions about his ability to make strong, effective decisions in the Senate. I would be wondering if he would be able to understand the world around him and the long term impact of his decisions on others. I would be asking his doctor for proof that dementia isn’t setting in.
But here’s the important part: Whether you are a Democrat, a Republican, a Libertarian or an Independent, you don’t have to vote for him.
Just because he’s been around for a while does not mean that you have to participate in his ineffective politics any longer. Just because he has been in the Senate for 29 years does not mean that he has wisdom and insight. Just because he kept getting reelected before doesn’t mean you have to continue to vote for him now.
The message Senator Specter needs to hear from us, from his constituents, is that we will continue to hold him to standards. We will continue to have expectations of what his performance should look like. We will hold him accountable for his actions. Changing parties will not liberate him from accountability.
If anything, he needs to be held to a higher, more consistent standard. If anything, he needs to know that if he fails us, if he fails the voters, we will fire him. We will vote for Pat Toomey, not only in a primary but in the general election. We will seriously consider 3rd party candidates. We will no longer take what he says at face value. We will ask him tough questions and we will expect him to have honest answers.
And at night, I dream we’ll elect politicians who haven’t penned garbage like the Magic Bullet Theory.
Tires are like underwear
I’m trying to trick myself into thinking that new tires are just as exciting as a new purse.
I’m pretty sure it isn’t working.
There are all of these ways that I love being an adult. I love being married. I love owning a home. I love transforming my home into something special for Brian and I. I love that all of my friends have made adorable babies and I get to hand the babies back to their parents when they start crying.
But then there are these adult things that I must do that suck. Like paying my student loans on time each month. Or taking out the trash when it’s raining and I’m trying to get to work. Or spending the money I saved for indulgence at the MAC counter on new tires for the car.
So now I catch myself trying to rationalize the tires and make myself happy I spent the money that way.
Without new tires on the Civic, the car would not pass inspection. Without a passing inspection, I would not be able to drive the car legally on May 1st. Without a car to drive, I would not be able to accomplish my twenty mile commute to work without two trains and a short bus. Without work, I would have no where to show off my fabulous MAC indulgences and no income to buy more.
Tires should make me happy.
I told my mother this as I drove to work yesterday. Even though I knew it sounded slightly insane. Even though I knew there was a 90% chance, she would gasp, have a heart attack and her last words would be “save your money”.
Instead she paused and said “Well, tires are like underwear. No one sees it but you better have it on”.
I probably wouldn’t have spent the money at the MAC counter anyway. There would have been some other “underwear” purchase I would have made. Or I would have used the money to help someone else. I just like the possibilities aspect of having that money in my bank account.
Would I have purchased something to surprise my husband with? Would we have used the money for paint for the house? How many books could I buy with that much cash? Could it have bought a plane ticket for a vacation? Maybe it could buy some diapers and formula for a low income family?
In the midst of mature, responsible adult decisions, I find my imagination takes over. Like a little kid getting allowance, I imagine all of the glorious things those dollars could be doing and how much happiness it could buy me.
I wonder if the imagination is how we make the adult decisions easier to do. Instead of thinking you just lost all of your money for the month on rent or a mortgage, you think about the friends you’ll have over to your place that month. Instead of getting frustrated when it is time to pay for a tank of oil, you think about how good a hot shower feels at the end of the day. Instead of complaining about the cost of new tires, you think about all of the places those tires will take you.
I made Brian admire my tires. The gratitude was good for both of us.
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